Sexuality Explained in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Sexuality is not just about who you have sex with, or how often. It’s about your sexual and romantic feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviors toward other people. You might find others physically, sexually, or emotionally attractive—each of these is part of your sexuality.

Sexuality is diverse, deeply personal, and an important part of who you are. For many people in Grand Rapids and across West Michigan, discovering their sexuality can be liberating, exciting, and positive.

Understanding Sexuality

Sexuality exists on a spectrum. You might:

  • Be attracted to men
  • Be attracted to women
  • Be attracted to people of more than one gender
  • Be attracted to no one at all
  • Find that your attractions change over time

There is no “right” or “wrong” sexuality. It’s about what feels true and safe for you.

You also don’t have to choose a label if you don’t want to. Some people in Grand Rapids feel comfortable using common terms like straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or asexual. Others prefer not to use any label at all.

Common Sexual Orientations

Heterosexual (Straight)

Most people are attracted to the opposite sex—for example:

  • Men who are attracted to women
  • Women who are attracted to men

These people are called heterosexual or straight.

Homosexual (Gay or Lesbian)

Some people are attracted to the same sex. These people are homosexual. Common terms include:

  • Lesbian – women who are attracted to women
  • Gay – often used by men who are attracted to men, but some women also use “gay” to describe themselves

Same-sex attraction is a normal and healthy part of human diversity. Many LGBTQ+ residents in Grand Rapids find community through local groups, affirming faith communities, and campus organizations at places like Grand Valley State University and local colleges.

Bisexuality and Other Diverse Attractions

Sexuality is often more complex than just “straight” or “gay.”

Bisexual

Some people are attracted to more than one gender. These people may identify as bisexual. This does not mean attraction is evenly split. A bisexual person might:

  • Feel stronger attraction to one gender than another
  • Have relationships mostly with one gender, but still feel attraction to others
  • Have their attractions change over time

Different Ways of Being Bisexual

People who are attracted to more than one gender may:

  • See themselves as mainly straight or mainly gay, even if they occasionally feel attraction to another gender
  • Have sexual feelings toward more than one gender but only have relationships or sex with one
  • View attraction as a “grey area” rather than strictly “men” or “women”

Queer and Pansexual

Some people find everyday labels like “straight,” “gay,” or “bisexual” too rigid. They may identify as:

  • Queer – a broad term some people use to describe a non‑heterosexual or non‑cisgender identity
  • Pansexual – people who may be attracted to others regardless of their gender, identity, or expression

There are many individual differences, so terms like bisexual, queer, and pansexual are general guides, not strict boxes.

Asexuality, Grey-Asexuality, and Demisexuality

Some people experience little or no sexual attraction. This is called asexuality.

  • Asexual (“ace”) – a person who does not experience, or experiences very little, sexual attraction
  • Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like heterosexuality or homosexuality, and is not the same as choosing abstinence or celibacy

Grey-Asexuality

Some people strongly identify with being asexual but have rare or infrequent experiences of sexual attraction. This is often called grey-asexuality or grey-ace.

Demisexuality

Some people experience sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone. This is known as demisexuality.

People in Grand Rapids who identify as asexual, grey-ace, or demisexual may find support through online communities and LGBTQ+ organizations that serve all of Michigan.

Sexuality Can Change Over Time

Your sexuality may become clearer as you grow, or it may shift over time. Especially during adolescence and young adulthood—common life stages in a college town and metro area like Grand Rapids—you might:

  • Question your attractions
  • Feel confused or unsure
  • Notice your feelings changing

This is normal. You do not have to rush to figure it out, and you do not have to come out or choose a label before you’re ready.

Discrimination and Sexuality in Michigan

Equality and freedom from discrimination are fundamental human rights. In Michigan, it is generally against the law to discriminate against someone because of their:

  • Sexual orientation
  • Gender identity or expression
  • Lawful sexual activity

If you believe you’ve been discriminated against because of your sexuality in housing, employment, or public services, you can contact:

  • Michigan Department of Civil Rights – for discrimination complaints and information about your rights

Local residents can also reach out to:

  • Kent County Health Department
  • Grand Rapids Public Health resources and community partners

for referrals to legal and mental health support.

Discrimination Still Happens

Despite legal protections, discrimination and stigma still occur in Grand Rapids and across West Michigan. LGBTIQA+ people face a higher risk of:

  • Depression and anxiety
  • Substance use problems
  • Homelessness, especially among youth
  • Self-harm and suicidal thoughts

This risk is especially high for young people who are:

  • Coming to terms with their sexuality
  • Experiencing bullying or harassment at school, work, or online
  • Feeling rejected by family or community

How Discrimination and Stress Can Affect Mental Health

Some stressful experiences that can affect the mental health of an LGBTIQA+ person include:

  • Feeling different from other people
  • Being bullied (verbally, online, or physically)
  • Feeling pressure to deny or change their sexuality
  • Worrying about coming out and being rejected or isolated
  • Feeling unsupported or misunderstood at home, school, work, or in their faith community

These pressures are on top of everyday life challenges, such as:

  • Managing school or college
  • Finding or keeping a job
  • Forming and maintaining relationships
  • Making sense of your identity and place in the world

In Grand Rapids, seasonal changes can also affect mood. Long, dark winters and cold weather common in West Michigan can contribute to seasonal depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which may make existing stress about sexuality feel even heavier.

Warning Signs: When Someone May Be Struggling

If you’re worried that someone you know may be experiencing a mental health problem, look for ongoing changes in:

  • Mood (sad, irritable, withdrawn, or unusually angry)
  • Behavior (avoiding friends, school, work, or activities they used to enjoy)
  • Relationships (conflict, isolation, or pulling away from support)
  • Appetite (eating much more or much less than usual)
  • Sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little, trouble falling asleep)
  • Coping (using alcohol or drugs to “numb out,” self-harm)
  • Thinking (hopelessness, negative self-talk, talking about death or suicide)

If these changes last more than a couple of weeks, encourage them to get help.

Getting Support in Grand Rapids, Michigan

If you’re struggling with your sexuality—or with how people are treating you because of it—support is available.

Talk to Someone You Trust

You might start with:

  • A close friend or family member
  • A trusted teacher, coach, or school counselor
  • A doctor or nurse at a local clinic
  • A mental health professional

In Grand Rapids, you can look for LGBTQ+ affirming providers through:

  • Spectrum Health (Corewell Health)
  • Trinity Health Grand Rapids
  • Metro Health – University of Michigan Health
  • Mercy Health clinics and affiliated providers

Ask if the provider is experienced in LGBTQ+ health or inclusive care.

Local and National Resources

While specific phone numbers and services change over time, you can search for:

  • Kent County Health Department – for local mental health referrals and public health services
  • Grand Rapids Public Health and community health centers – for counseling and support referrals
  • Local LGBTQ+ centers or student groups – at area colleges and universities
  • National crisis and support lines – for confidential phone, text, or chat support (for depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts)

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about suicide, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department, such as:

  • Corewell Health Butterworth Hospital in downtown Grand Rapids
  • Trinity Health Grand Rapids Hospital

Taking Care of Yourself While You Figure Things Out

You do not have to have everything “figured out” right away. It’s okay to:

  • Take your time exploring your feelings
  • Change your label or stop using labels altogether
  • Decide not to come out yet—or at all—if it doesn’t feel safe

Practical Self‑Care Tips

  • Set boundaries – Don’t spend time with people who are abusive, cruel, or disrespectful about your sexuality.
  • Find safe spaces – Look for affirming friends, clubs, or online communities that are LGBTQ+ friendly.
  • Stay active – Movement, even indoors during Michigan winters, can help your mood.
  • Get outside when you can – Sunlight, especially in spring and summer along the Grand River and local parks, can support mental health.
  • Reach out early – Don’t wait until things feel unbearable to ask for help.

Remember: there is no deadline for understanding your sexuality, and you do not owe anyone an explanation about your identity.

Supporting Someone Who Is Questioning Their Sexuality

If someone in Grand Rapids confides in you about their sexuality:

  • Listen without judgment
  • Don’t pressure them to choose a label or come out
  • Respect their privacy—don’t share their story without permission
  • Ask how you can support them
  • Encourage them to seek professional help if they seem very distressed

You can also learn more about LGBTQ+ mental health and rights in Michigan through reputable websites, local health systems, and state resources.

Key Points About Sexuality in Grand Rapids, MI

  • Sexuality is diverse, personal, and an important part of who you are.
  • Most people are heterosexual (straight), but many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, asexual, or identify in other ways.
  • “Lesbian” commonly describes women who are attracted to women; “gay” is often used by men attracted to men, though some women also use this term.
  • Some people attracted to more than one gender identify as bisexual, while others prefer terms like queer or pansexual—or no label at all.
  • Asexuality (ace), grey-asexuality, and demisexuality are valid sexual orientations that describe low, rare, or conditional sexual attraction.
  • In Michigan, discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity is generally unlawful, but prejudice and bullying still occur.
  • LGBTIQA+ people—especially youth—may face higher risks of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, so early support is important.
  • In Grand Rapids, you can seek help through local health systems, the Kent County Health Department, school counselors, and national hotlines.

If you live in the Grand Rapids area and are questioning your sexuality or struggling with how others respond to it, you are not alone. Support, understanding, and affirming care are available.