Losing the Farm in West Michigan: Emotional and Practical Support for Rural Families

Losing a farm in West Michigan is more than a financial setback—it can feel like losing a loved one. For many families in the Grand Rapids area and across rural Kent, Ottawa, Ionia, and Montcalm counties, the farm has been in the family for generations. When that land, home, and way of life are lost, it can feel like betraying your ancestors while also fearing you’ve taken away your children’s birthright.

Grief, guilt, despair, and depression are common and understandable reactions. In many West Michigan farm families, the farm supports three generations—grandparents, parents, and children—so its loss can throw the entire family into turmoil. During this time, it can be difficult to lean on each other when everyone is hurting.

Professional support, community resources, and practical guidance can help farm families in and around Grand Rapids begin to build a new way of life.

The Transition Away from Farming Takes Time

The emotional transition after losing a farm rarely happens quickly. Grief is a process, and it does not follow a neat or predictable pattern.

Common Emotional Reactions

Farm families in the Grand Rapids region who lose their farms may experience:

  • Guilt, failure, or inadequacy – feeling like you should have done more or made different decisions
  • Loss of identity – farming is a way of life, not just a job; without it, you may feel you don’t know who you are
  • Loss of professional purpose – many farmers can’t imagine doing anything else for a living
  • Loss of the family home – leaving the land and house where children grew up can be heartbreaking
  • Feeling you’ve betrayed previous generations – especially if the farm has been in the family for decades
  • Guilt about inheritance – worrying that you’ve lost the only substantial legacy for your children

Everyone grieves differently. You may not experience all of these feelings, or you may move through them in a different order than other family members. It’s common for spouses, parents, and children to grieve in very different ways—try to respect each other’s emotions during this difficult time.

Stages and Expressions of Grief

People may move in and out of these experiences over months or even years:

  • Denial – struggling to believe this is really happening
  • Release – intense crying, waves of sadness, or emotional “meltdowns”
  • Restlessness – trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, or feeling “on edge”
  • Isolation – pulling back from friends, church, or community events to be alone
  • Remorse – replaying decisions, wishing you could change the past
  • Panic – difficulty thinking clearly or managing everyday tasks
  • Confusion – feeling unable to make plans or see a future
  • Anger – blaming people, banks, markets, or institutions
  • Idealisation – remembering only the good times on the farm and romanticising the past
  • Vulnerability – feeling exposed, unstable, or fearful about what comes next
  • Acceptance – gradually recognising that life has changed and beginning to look ahead
  • Confidence – slowly rebuilding a sense of competence and hope in a new direction

Certain times of year in Michigan can trigger stronger emotions—for example, the first spring planting season after leaving the farm, or the anniversary of the sale. Driving past fields, hearing machinery, or attending local fairs can also stir up painful memories.

At the same time, many people eventually notice moments when they can look toward the future with a bit more hope and optimism. Both kinds of moments—painful and hopeful—are a normal part of healing.

Special Challenges for Farm Families in West Michigan

Farm families near Grand Rapids face some unique pressures and transitions when they lose their farms:

Impact on Children and Teens

Children may need to:

  • Change schools – moving from a rural district to a Grand Rapids–area school can be a big social and academic adjustment
  • Leave 4-H, FFA, or farm-related activities – losing animals, projects, and routines can be deeply upsetting
  • Adjust to city or suburban life – more traffic, less space, and different expectations

Parents may want to:

  • Inform school counselors and teachers in the new district (e.g., Grand Rapids Public Schools, Kentwood, Rockford, Caledonia, or other nearby districts) about what the child is going through
  • Maintain connections with rural friends and activities when possible
  • Watch for signs of depression, anxiety, or behavioral changes

Michigan’s long, dark winters and unpredictable weather can make grief and depression feel worse:

  • Shorter daylight hours can increase seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
  • Limited outdoor activity can reduce coping outlets for former farmers used to working outside
  • Harsh winter conditions can make it harder to attend appointments or stay socially connected

If you or a family member notice worsening mood in late fall or winter, talk with a healthcare provider in the Grand Rapids area about seasonal depression and treatment options.

Why Asking for Help Can Be Hard for Farmers

Farmers in West Michigan often pride themselves on self-sufficiency, independence, and hard work. These are strengths—but they can also make it difficult to reach out for support when life falls apart.

Common barriers include:

  • Feeling that asking for help is a sign of weakness
  • Believing “other people have it worse”
  • Not knowing what resources exist in the Grand Rapids or Kent County area
  • Worrying about stigma in close-knit rural communities

In reality, seeking help is a practical, responsible step, especially when multiple generations are affected. When you connect with one organization or professional, it’s a good idea to ask if they can recommend other local or state resources as well.

Types of Help Farm Families May Need

Farm families who lose their farms often need a combination of emotional, financial, and practical support.

Emotional and Mental Health Support

  • Individual counseling – to process grief, anger, and identity loss
  • Family or couples therapy – to improve communication and reduce conflict
  • Support groups – connecting with others who have experienced farm loss or financial hardship

In the Grand Rapids area, you can find mental health services through:

  • Spectrum Health / Corewell Health West Behavioral Health
  • Trinity Health Grand Rapids behavioral health services
  • Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services (one of the largest behavioral health providers in West Michigan)
  • Network180 – Kent County’s community mental health authority, offering services for those with limited insurance or resources

If you or someone you love is in immediate crisis or having thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or visit the nearest emergency department, such as Spectrum Health Butterworth Hospital or Trinity Health Grand Rapids Hospital.

Social and Community Support

  • Faith communities – churches, mosques, and synagogues in and around Grand Rapids often provide spiritual and practical support
  • Local nonprofits – many West Michigan organizations assist with food, clothing, and basic needs
  • Kent County Health Department and Grand Rapids Public Health resources – for public health programs, immunizations, and referrals

Financial Counseling and Debt Support

Losing a farm often involves overwhelming debt, legal questions, and complex financial decisions. Helpful options include:

  • Nonprofit credit counseling agencies in West Michigan that offer:

    • Budgeting help
    • Debt management plans
    • Guidance on negotiating with creditors

  • Legal aid services for low- or moderate-income families facing foreclosure, bankruptcy, or other legal issues

National resources that can help with financial stress include:

  • National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) – connects you with certified credit counselors
  • Farm Aid Hotline – provides emotional support and connects farmers with legal and financial resources

Education, Training, and Career Support

Many former farmers struggle to imagine doing anything else. West Michigan has multiple pathways to new careers:

  • Grand Rapids Community College (GRCC) – job training, certificates, and degree programs
  • Michigan Works! West Central / Kent & Allegan Counties – job search help, resume support, and retraining programs
  • Apprenticeships and skilled trades – including manufacturing, construction, HVAC, and automotive fields that are strong in the Grand Rapids region

These services can help with:

  • Identifying transferable skills (mechanical, management, logistics, equipment operation)
  • Exploring careers in agribusiness, food processing, or related industries
  • Accessing tuition assistance or training grants

Housing and Relocation Assistance

When the farm is also the family home, losing it can mean urgent housing needs. Possible supports include:

  • Local housing assistance programs in Kent County
  • Nonprofit housing agencies that help with rentals, utility assistance, or homebuyer education
  • Relocation services through some employers or workforce programs

When to Seek Professional Help

It may be time to seek professional help if you or a family member:

  • Feel hopeless most days
  • Have ongoing trouble sleeping or eating
  • Use alcohol or drugs to cope
  • Withdraw completely from family and friends
  • Have thoughts of self-harm or suicide

In the Grand Rapids and Kent County area, you can:

  • Contact Network180 for mental health and substance use services
  • Schedule an appointment with your primary care provider at Spectrum Health, Trinity Health, Metro Health–University of Michigan Health, or Mercy Health to discuss mood, stress, and referrals
  • Reach out to Pine Rest for counseling, intensive outpatient programs, or inpatient care if needed

For urgent mental health crises, call or text 988 or call 911 and ask for a mental health–trained responder if available.

Local and National Resources for Farm Families

While some farm-specific hotlines listed in other regions may not apply directly to Michigan, there are several useful resources for West Michigan farm families:

In and Around Grand Rapids

  • Kent County Health Department – information on public health services, immunizations, and community programs
  • Network180 – community mental health and substance use services for Kent County
  • Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services – counseling, psychiatry, and inpatient programs
  • Local churches and faith communities – emotional, spiritual, and sometimes financial support

State and National Resources

  • Michigan State University Extension (MSU Extension) – farm stress programs, financial planning, and mental health resources for Michigan farmers
  • Farm Aid Hotline – emotional support and referrals for farmers facing crisis
  • National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988 – 24/7 free and confidential support

Moving Forward After Losing the Farm

Losing a farm in West Michigan is a profound loss—of land, work, identity, and history. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, angry, or deeply sad. Over time, with support, many individuals and families:

  • Find new ways to honor their farming heritage
  • Build meaningful careers in other fields
  • Create a new sense of home and community in the Grand Rapids area or beyond

You do not have to go through this alone. Local healthcare providers, mental health professionals, financial counselors, and community organizations in Grand Rapids and across Michigan are ready to help you take the next step—one small piece at a time.