Parenting When You’re a Foster Carer in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Foster carers in Grand Rapids play a vital role in Kent County’s child welfare system. You provide a safe, stable and nurturing home for a child or teenager who can’t live with their own family for a period of time – from one night to several years.

In West Michigan, foster parenting can be deeply rewarding, but it also comes with unique challenges that can affect you physically, emotionally and financially. Understanding what to expect, and knowing where to find support in Grand Rapids, can make a real difference for you and the children in your care.

What Foster Care Looks Like in Grand Rapids, MI

In Michigan, foster care is temporary care for children up to 18 years of age by trained, assessed and licensed foster parents in a home setting.

Children and teens in foster care in the Grand Rapids area may:

  • Come from homes with abuse, neglect or unsafe living conditions
  • Have experienced domestic violence, substance use in the home, or chronic instability
  • Have parents who are incarcerated, struggling with addiction, mental health concerns, or intellectual disabilities
  • Be any age from newborn to 17, and from any cultural, religious or socioeconomic background

As a foster parent in Grand Rapids, you can usually indicate:

  • The age range and gender you feel best equipped to care for
  • The type of care you can offer (emergency, short-term, long-term, respite)
  • Any special needs or behaviors you feel prepared to support

Foster placements in Kent County are coordinated through licensed foster care agencies and the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS). These agencies are responsible for matching children with families, providing training and ongoing support, and helping you navigate the child protection and court systems.

Local and regional resources that may be involved in a child’s care include:

  • Kent County Health Department
  • Grand Rapids Public Health / City of Grand Rapids services
  • Major healthcare providers such as Corewell Health (formerly Spectrum Health), Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health – University of Michigan Health, and Mercy Health clinics
  • School districts in and around Grand Rapids, including Grand Rapids Public Schools

The Rewards and Challenges of Being a Foster Parent in Grand Rapids

Why Foster Parents Say It’s Worth It

Many Grand Rapids foster carers say the rewards far outweigh the challenges. You have the opportunity to:

  • Provide safety and stability for a child who has experienced trauma
  • Help a young person build trust with caring adults
  • Support a child’s education and healthcare through local schools and providers
  • Watch a child grow in confidence, resilience and independence
  • Be a positive, steady influence at a critical time in their life

Your daily decisions, routines and the way you parent can shape a child’s future. That responsibility can feel daunting, but it is also profoundly meaningful.

Common Challenges Foster Parents Face

Foster carers in West Michigan often face challenges in three main areas:

  1. Supporting children with complex behaviors and trauma
  2. Maintaining contact with biological parents and extended family
  3. Managing your own emotions, stress and financial pressures

You may also face everyday parenting challenges that are amplified by trauma, plus local factors such as:

  • Long winters and limited outdoor time, which can increase restlessness and mood issues for kids
  • Seasonal illnesses common in Michigan, like flu and respiratory infections, adding stress to family routines
  • Transportation needs for visits, medical appointments at local hospitals (like Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital), and school activities across the Grand Rapids metro area

Understanding Challenging Behaviors in Foster Care

Many children entering foster care in Grand Rapids have experienced trauma, loss, instability, or chronic stress. Their behavior is often a response to past experiences, not a reflection of you as a carer.

Common behaviors include:

Withdrawal and Low Engagement

  • Pulling away from foster parents, siblings or peers
  • Appearing sad, listless or “shut down”
  • Not smiling or avoiding eye contact
  • Showing little interest in games, toys or social activities

Defiance and Opposition

  • Ignoring directions or doing the opposite of what is asked
  • Arguing, testing limits or repeatedly breaking rules
  • Seeming “stubborn” or “controlling” as a way to feel safe

Aggression and Violence

  • Hitting, kicking, biting or yelling at siblings or caregivers
  • Fighting at school or with peers in the neighborhood
  • Challenging teachers and other authority figures

Clinginess, Crying or Regressive Behaviors

  • Excessive crying, especially at bedtime or during transitions
  • Acting younger than their age (bedwetting, baby talk, separation anxiety)
  • Being extremely fearful of being left alone or abandoned

Sexualized or Other High-Risk Behaviors

  • Sexualized language or play that is not age-appropriate
  • Boundary issues with adults or peers
  • Other risky or antisocial behaviors (stealing, lying, running away)

These behaviors can be especially challenging during Michigan’s darker, colder months, when children may spend more time indoors and have fewer outlets for physical activity.

Therapeutic Parenting: Helping Children Heal from Trauma

Therapeutic parenting is a trauma-informed approach that offers high structure and high nurture. It is intentional, consistent parenting designed to help children feel safe, connected and understood so they can begin to heal.

Core Principles of Therapeutic Parenting

1. Safety – Real and “Felt” Safety

  • Create predictable routines (mealtimes, bedtimes, school days)
  • Explain what’s happening next, especially around big events like court dates, medical visits or family contact
  • Make your home physically safe and emotionally calm, even during Michigan’s winter storms or power outages

2. High Structure with High Nurture

  • Set clear, age-appropriate rules and boundaries, and follow through consistently
  • Use calm, firm and respectful language
  • Pair structure with warmth: praise efforts, offer hugs (if the child is comfortable), and use reassuring words

3. Connected Parenting

Look past the behavior to the underlying need or feeling. Ask yourself:

  • “What is this behavior trying to tell me?”
  • “Is my child scared, ashamed, overwhelmed or testing if I’ll still be here?”

Use a PACE-like approach (often used in trauma-informed care):

  • Playful – whenever appropriate, use gentle humor and play to build connection
  • Accepting – accept the child’s feelings, even if you can’t accept the behavior
  • Curious – ask open, non-judgmental questions: “I wonder if you felt scared when…?”
  • Empathic – show genuine understanding: “That must have been really hard for you.”

4. Intentional Parenting Over the Long Term

Healing from trauma takes time. Progress may be slow or uneven, and setbacks are normal. Staying intentional means:

  • Being thoughtful about how you respond, rather than reacting in the moment
  • Adjusting your approach as you learn more about the child’s history and needs
  • Working closely with therapists, caseworkers and school staff in Grand Rapids to support the child’s progress

Looking After Yourself as a Foster Carer in Grand Rapids

Caring for a child who has experienced trauma can be emotionally and physically demanding. To continue providing stable care, you need to look after your own wellbeing.

Practical Self-Care Strategies

  • Don’t take behaviors personally.
    Remind yourself: “This is about their past, not about me.” Many children act out of fear, shame or confusion.

  • Take care of your body.

    • Eat regular, balanced meals (especially important when winter limits outdoor activity)
    • Get enough sleep where possible
    • Stay active – use local options like indoor walking tracks, gyms, or community centers during cold months

  • Use respite and breaks.

    • Take short breaks away from parenting when approved and available
    • Spend time with friends, family or in activities that recharge you

  • Seek emotional support.

    • Consider counseling or therapy for yourself or your family
    • Join local or online foster parent support groups in West Michigan
    • Talk openly with your foster care agency about stress, burnout or secondary trauma

Managing Feelings of Isolation or Frustration

Many Grand Rapids foster carers report:

  • Not knowing who to call during a crisis or behavioral escalation
  • Feeling underprepared or undertrained for complex needs
  • Frustration about limited information on a child’s history, health or trauma
  • Strong emotional attachment to the child and anxiety about possible reunification or placement changes
  • Stress navigating social services, court hearings, and multiple professionals

These feelings are common and valid. Regular supervision, peer support and training can help you feel less alone and more confident in your role.

Maintaining Contact with Biological Parents and Family

In Michigan, children in foster care usually have a contact or visitation plan to maintain safe, appropriate connections with their biological parents and other important relatives when possible.

Why Family Contact Matters

When it is safe and in the child’s best interests, contact can:

  • Support the child’s sense of identity and belonging
  • Strengthen resilience and emotional stability
  • Help the child feel more secure about their story and background
  • Lay the groundwork for a smoother reunification if they return home

Your Role as a Foster Carer

As a foster parent in Grand Rapids, you may be asked to:

  • Help the child prepare emotionally for visits
  • Transport the child to supervised visits at agencies, offices, or community locations
  • Stay neutral and respectful, even if you have mixed feelings about the birth parents
  • Support the child if visits are missed or disappointing
  • Help the child understand, in age-appropriate language, why they are in care and why they may not be able to return home yet

Common Challenges Around Contact

  • Deciding how often visits occur and where they take place
  • Understanding whether visits should be supervised or unsupervised
  • Coping with court-ordered conditions around contact (who can attend, frequency, supervision requirements)
  • Supporting a child who feels torn between you and their birth family
  • Helping a child manage self-blame, anger or confusion about being removed from home
  • Preparing the child emotionally if they are returning to their biological family

If you are struggling with any of these issues, reach out to your foster care agency or a foster parent support organization for guidance and advocacy.

Managing Finances as a Foster Carer in Michigan

In Michigan, foster parents receive a care allowance to help cover the day-to-day costs of raising a child, such as food, clothing, school supplies and basic activities.

Key points:

  • The allowance is a reimbursement, not a wage or salary.
  • It is not considered taxable income.
  • It generally does not affect eligibility for most government benefits or typical bank loans.

At the start of a placement, an assessment is made to determine the level of allowance appropriate for the child’s needs.

However, you may still face extra expenses, especially if:

  • The child has special medical, developmental, or mental health needs
  • You are paying for additional therapies, tutoring or extracurricular activities
  • Transportation costs are high (for example, frequent trips across the Grand Rapids metro area for visits, appointments or school)

Before becoming a foster parent, think carefully about:

  • How foster care costs might affect your household budget
  • Your long-term financial goals, including retirement
  • Whether you will need to adjust work hours or employment to meet the child’s needs

Basic budgeting strategies, community resources, and financial counseling services in Grand Rapids can help you manage these responsibilities more comfortably.

Local Support and Training for Foster Carers in Grand Rapids

While program names in the original article were Michigan-wide examples, foster parents in Grand Rapids have access to a range of local and statewide supports, including:

  • Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) – Information about becoming a foster parent, licensing, policies, and support services.
  • Local foster care agencies – Provide training, case management, respite options and crisis support.
  • Kent County Health Department & Grand Rapids Public Health – Immunizations, developmental screenings, health education and public health services.
  • Major healthcare systems – Corewell Health (Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital), Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health and Mercy Health offer pediatric, behavioral health and specialty care.
  • Support organizations and networks – Foster parent associations, kinship care support, and regional advocacy groups for foster, adoptive and kinship families.

Ask your licensing worker or agency for:

  • Information on free or low-cost training in trauma-informed care and therapeutic parenting
  • Details about carer assistance or employee assistance-type programs that offer short-term counseling for foster carers
  • Local support groups in Grand Rapids or online groups serving West Michigan foster parents

Key Takeaways for Foster Parents in Grand Rapids, MI

  • Foster parenting in Grand Rapids is a powerful way to provide safety, stability and healing for children who have experienced trauma.
  • Many children in care will show challenging behaviors; these are often rooted in past experiences, not a reflection of your parenting.
  • Therapeutic parenting – focusing on safety, structure, nurture and connection – is one of the most effective ways to support healing.
  • Maintaining contact with biological family, when safe and appropriate, is important for a child’s identity, resilience and long-term stability.
  • Looking after your own physical, emotional and financial wellbeing is essential; you cannot pour from an empty cup.
  • Grand Rapids foster carers are not alone – local agencies, health systems, and support organizations are available to help you navigate challenges and celebrate successes.

If you live in the Grand Rapids area and are considering becoming a foster parent, or if you are already fostering and need more support, reach out to a local foster care agency or MDHHS. Your role is critical in giving children in West Michigan a safer, healthier future.