Looking After Yourself as a Carer in Grand Rapids, Michigan

When you’re caring for a loved one with a life-limiting illness in Grand Rapids, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But looking after your own health and wellbeing is essential — for you and for the person you care for.

In West Michigan, carers often juggle medical appointments at places like Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, or Mercy Health, along with work, family, and the challenges of our long, cold winters. Taking care of yourself helps you stay strong enough to manage it all.

Why Your Health as a Carer Matters

Caring can be physically and emotionally demanding, especially when:

  • You’re driving to and from hospitals and clinics in snow and ice
  • You’re managing medications and appointments
  • You’re coping with emotional stress and uncertainty

Looking after yourself:

  • Helps you maintain the energy and strength needed for your caring role
  • Reduces your risk of burnout, depression, and physical illness
  • Allows you to provide more consistent, compassionate care

Many people receiving care feel better knowing their carer is taking time to rest, recharge, and enjoy life. Taking care of yourself is not selfish — it’s part of good care.

Keep Doing the Things You Enjoy

Even during serious illness, you are still a person with your own interests and needs. Try to continue:

  • Hobbies (reading, gardening in the spring/summer, knitting in winter, art, music)
  • Community activities (church groups, support groups, neighborhood events)
  • Time with friends and family

Take Regular Breaks from Caring

Short, regular breaks can prevent you from becoming exhausted. Aim to:

  • Do at least one small thing just for yourself every day
  • Schedule longer breaks when possible (an afternoon off, a day each week, or a weekend with support in place)

If you feel guilty taking time for yourself, remind yourself that rest helps you be more patient, present, and effective as a carer.

Get Some Exercise – Even in Michigan Winters

Physical activity is one of the best ways to protect your health as a carer.

Simple Ways to Move More

  • Take a walk: Around your Grand Rapids neighborhood, at Riverside Park, Millennium Park, or in a local mall when it’s icy or very cold
  • Gentle stretching: Do light stretching or chair exercises at home
  • Exercise you enjoy:
    • Indoor options: home workout videos, yoga, light weights, stationary bike
    • Community options: classes at local gyms or the YMCA (if you can get away)

Regular movement can:

  • Boost your energy
  • Improve your mood
  • Reduce stress and muscle tension

Start small — even 10 minutes a day is better than nothing.

Sleep Problems Are Common for Carers

Many carers in Grand Rapids struggle with sleep, especially when they’re on alert at night or worried about their loved one.

Tips to Improve Your Sleep

  • Limit caffeine and alcohol, especially after mid-afternoon
  • Create a wind-down routine:
    • Warm bath or shower
    • Herbal tea (e.g., chamomile)
    • Soothing music, light reading, or quiet time
  • If you can’t sleep after 20 minutes:
    • Get up, do something calm (read, stretch, listen to music), then try again
  • Take a short daytime rest if your nights are broken (20–30 minutes, not too late in the day)

If you regularly struggle with sleep, talk with your GP or primary care doctor at a local clinic or health system (Spectrum Health, Metro Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, or Mercy Health). They can help rule out medical issues, suggest strategies, or refer you for further support.

Maintain a Healthy Diet — and Enjoy Food

When you’re busy and stressed, it’s easy to skip meals or rely on fast food. But your body needs fuel to cope with caring, especially during long Michigan winters when energy and mood can dip.

Practical Eating Tips for Carers

  • Aim for balanced meals:
    • Fruits and vegetables
    • Whole grains (whole wheat bread, brown rice, oats)
    • Lean proteins (chicken, fish, beans, eggs, tofu)
    • Healthy fats (nuts, seeds, olive oil)
  • Keep easy, healthy options on hand:
    • Pre-washed salad mixes
    • Frozen vegetables
    • Soup, yogurt, nuts, and fresh fruit
  • Accept help with meals (see ideas below)

Also, remember to treat yourself sometimes with foods you enjoy — a favorite dessert, a special coffee, or a meal from a local Grand Rapids restaurant.

Do Something for Yourself Every Day

Make a list of 10 small things you enjoy that give you a short break and renew your energy. For example:

  • A quiet cup of coffee or tea
  • A short walk around the block
  • Listening to your favorite music or a podcast
  • Reading a chapter of a book
  • Watching a favorite show
  • Calling or texting a friend
  • Doing a crossword, puzzle, or game
  • Sitting in the sun by a window (especially helpful in winter)
  • A hot shower or bath
  • Prayer, meditation, or journaling

Do One of These Each Day

Even 10–15 minutes can make a difference.

Stay Connected and Practice Your Spirituality

Caring can feel isolating, especially if you’re home a lot or the weather makes it hard to get out.

Maintain Social Contact

  • Keep in touch with friends and family by phone, text, video calls, or brief visits
  • Continue community activities when you can (faith communities, clubs, groups)
  • Consider local or online carer support groups in the Grand Rapids area

Support Your Spiritual or Emotional Life

Whether it’s:

  • Prayer or worship
  • Meditation or mindfulness
  • Yoga or breathing exercises
  • Talking with a pastor, priest, imam, rabbi, or spiritual leader

Maintaining your spiritual or religious practices can give comfort, strength, and a sense of meaning during difficult times.

Looking After Your Emotional Health

The emotional demands of caring for someone with a life-limiting illness can be intense. You may feel:

  • Sad, anxious, or overwhelmed
  • Guilty about not doing “enough”
  • Angry, resentful, or frustrated
  • Lonely or emotionally drained

These feelings are normal. They do not mean you are failing — they mean you are human.

Focus on Small Hopes

When the situation feels hopeless, it can help to focus on small, realistic hopes, such as:

  • “I hope today is a comfortable day for them.”
  • “I hope we can share a good conversation or memory.”
  • “I hope I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

Talking to a Professional in Grand Rapids

Sometimes it helps to talk with someone who isn’t directly involved — someone who can listen without judgment.

A counselor, therapist, social worker, or psychologist can help you:

  • Balance your caring role with your own needs
  • Manage stress, anxiety, and sadness
  • Navigate family dynamics and communication
  • Plan ahead and cope with changes

Start by Speaking with Your Doctor

  • Talk to your GP or primary care doctor about how you’re coping
  • Ask about referrals to counseling or mental health services
  • Many palliative care and hospice teams in Grand Rapids have social workers or counselors who support carers

You are an essential part of the care team. Your wellbeing is vital.

Asking for Help from the Palliative Care Team

If your loved one is receiving palliative care or hospice care through a Grand Rapids provider (for example, Spectrum Health Hospice, Trinity Health At Home, or other local services), remember:

  • Part of the palliative care team’s role is to support you as the carer
  • They can offer emotional support, practical advice, and help with planning
  • They can guide you to respite services and community resources

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

  • Ask about trained volunteers who can sit with your loved one while you rest or go out
  • Ask what respite care options are available (in-home support or short stays in a facility)
  • Tell the team if you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure what to do next

Using Respite Services in Grand Rapids

Respite care gives you a break from caring while ensuring your loved one is safe and supported.

Types of Respite

  • In-home respite:
    • A volunteer, aide, or nurse visits your home so you can go out, rest, or attend appointments
  • Facility-based respite:
    • Your loved one stays temporarily in a nursing facility, hospice residence, or other care setting so you can have a longer break

Ask your palliative care provider, hospice team, or Kent County Health Department about respite options and eligibility in the Grand Rapids area.

Practical Ways to Share the Load

You do not have to do everything alone. There are many ways to get help with day-to-day tasks.

1. Take One Day at a Time

It’s natural to worry about the future, but focusing on “just today” can make things feel more manageable.

  • Ask yourself: “What do I need to get through today?”
  • Break tasks into small steps
  • Celebrate small wins

2. Make a List of People Who Can Help

Write down friends, family, neighbors, and community members who might be able to:

  • Drive to appointments
  • Sit with your loved one for a few hours
  • Help with meals or shopping
  • Do yard work or snow shoveling (important in Michigan winters)

If no one is available or willing, talk to your palliative care team, social worker, or local agencies about extra help or volunteers.

3. Keep a Diary of Issues

Use a notebook or notes app to record:

  • Symptoms, changes, or concerns about your loved one
  • Questions for doctors or nurses
  • Your own feelings and stress levels
  • Any support or resources you’d like to explore

This can help you during family meetings, medical appointments, or calls with the care team.

Getting Help with Everyday Tasks

Ask Friends or Relatives to Prepare Meals

Many people truly want to help but don’t know how. You can:

  • Ask them to cook a meal once a week
  • Use meal sign-up tools or group texts to organize support
  • Request simple, freezable meals

If this isn’t possible, consider:

  • Local meal delivery services or grocery delivery
  • Prepared meals from local Grand Rapids grocery stores
  • Community programs (churches, community centers, or senior services sometimes offer meal support)

Ask a Friend or Relative to Stay Overnight

If you’re not sleeping well because you’re always “on alert”:

  • Ask a trusted person to stay overnight sometimes
  • Use this time to get a full night’s rest or even sleep in a different room

Discuss Flexible Work Options with Your Employer

Many employers in the Grand Rapids area offer flexible working arrangements, such as:

  • Adjusted hours
  • Remote or hybrid work
  • Reduced hours or leave options

Talk to your HR department or manager about what’s possible. Explain your caring role and what you need to keep working while supporting your loved one.

Get Help with Household Chores

You don’t need to handle everything yourself. Consider:

  • Asking relatives or friends to help with:
    • Cleaning
    • Laundry
    • Yard work or snow removal
  • Hiring local services for:
    • House cleaning
    • Lawn care
    • Snow shoveling or plowing
  • Exploring support through local agencies or programs via:
    • Kent County Health Department
    • Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan

Organizing Support: Rosters and Updates

Set Up a Roster

If more than one person is helping care:

  • Create a roster (schedule) showing who is doing what and when
  • Include tasks like:
    • Staying with your loved one
    • Driving to appointments
    • Preparing meals
    • Doing errands

This can be done on paper, in a shared calendar, or with simple apps.

Use Regular Updates

Consider sending a regular email or group message to family and close friends. This can:

  • Keep everyone updated on your loved one’s condition
  • Reduce the number of individual phone calls you need to make
  • Help people understand what support is most needed

Give Yourself Regular Rewards

You deserve kindness and care, too.

  • Plan small rewards: a favorite snack, a quiet drive along the Grand River, a new book, a short visit to a local park
  • Take breaks when you can — even 15 minutes can refresh you
  • Notice and acknowledge what you are doing well

Local Support and Resources in Grand Rapids, MI

While specific service names and numbers may change, you can start with:

  • Your GP or primary care doctor
  • Your palliative care or hospice provider (e.g., Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, Mercy Health)
  • Kent County Health Department – for information on community health resources, caregiver support, and local programs
  • Grand Rapids Public Health and community organizations – for support groups, mental health resources, and caregiver education
  • Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan – for caregiver support, respite options, and aging services

If English is not your first language, ask your healthcare provider or clinic if they can arrange interpreting services for appointments and discussions.

Key Points for Carers in Grand Rapids

  • When caring for a loved one with a life-limiting illness, your health and wellbeing matter
  • Keep doing activities you enjoy outside of your caring role
  • Regular exercise, even gentle movement, helps you maintain your energy
  • Try to maintain social contact with friends and keep up your usual activities when possible
  • Look after your emotional health — ask for help, talk to professionals, and use local resources
  • You are an important part of the care team, and you do not have to do this alone