Incontinence – Tips for Carers in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Incontinence can affect men and women of any age, but it is more common in older adults and people living with chronic health conditions such as diabetes, stroke, Parkinson’s disease, or dementia. In Grand Rapids, where we have a large and growing senior population and cold winters that can make mobility harder, incontinence is a common issue families quietly struggle with.

You do not have to manage this alone. Help is available through your primary care provider, local continence services, and community resources in Grand Rapids.

Getting Professional Help in Grand Rapids, MI

Your first step should be to talk with the person’s doctor. In Grand Rapids, this might be a primary care provider or specialist at:

  • Spectrum Health (Corewell Health)
  • Trinity Health Grand Rapids
  • Metro Health – University of Michigan Health
  • Mercy Health physician practices

They can:

  • Assess possible causes of incontinence
  • Rule out infections or other medical problems
  • Refer you to a continence nurse, urologist, urogynecologist, or pelvic floor therapist
  • Connect you with local support services

You can also contact:

  • Kent County Health Department – for public health information and local resources
  • Grand Rapids Public Health / local clinics – for low-cost or sliding-scale services

Caring for Someone with Incontinence: Your Feelings Are Normal

Caring for an ill or aging person is demanding. Incontinence can add significantly to the physical and emotional workload. Many carers in Grand Rapids describe feeling:

  • Overwhelmed by constant laundry and clean-up
  • Frustrated or impatient
  • Embarrassed by accidents in public
  • Sad, guilty, or even angry about the situation

These feelings are normal. They do not mean you are a bad carer. Incontinence is a medical issue, not a personal failing—for you or the person you care for.

Effective treatments and management strategies are available. While incontinence is common as people age, it is not an inevitable or “normal” part of getting older.

Types and Causes of Incontinence

There are several types of incontinence, and the treatment depends on the cause. Common types include:

  • Stress incontinence – leakage when coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting
  • Urge incontinence – sudden, strong urge to urinate and not reaching the toilet in time
  • Overflow incontinence – bladder does not empty completely, leading to dribbling
  • Functional incontinence – physical or cognitive issues (e.g., arthritis, dementia) make it hard to reach or use the toilet
  • Fecal incontinence – accidental loss of stool

Cold Michigan winters and icy sidewalks can make it harder for older adults to move quickly and safely to the bathroom, which can worsen functional incontinence.

Continence Assessment: What to Expect

A continence assessment (often done by a continence nurse or specialist) helps create a personalized management plan. This may be done in a clinic, hospital, or sometimes at home.

Information gathered may include:

  • Medical history and current health conditions
  • How often the person urinates and has bowel movements
  • Whether leakage is urine, stool, or both
  • A rough estimate of how much urine is passed
  • Description of stool (hard, loose, pellet-like, etc.)
  • Whether the person:
    • Recognizes the need to use the toilet
    • Remembers where the toilet is
    • Can get to and use the toilet independently
  • Diet and fluid intake (including caffeine and alcohol)
  • List of medications (prescription, over-the-counter, and herbal)
  • Skin condition around the genital and anal area

Tests may include:

  • Urine test – to check for infection, blood, or other issues
  • Bladder ultrasound – to see how well the bladder empties

In Grand Rapids, these assessments are typically available through major health systems (Spectrum Health/Corewell, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, Mercy Health) and some specialized pelvic health or urology clinics.

Treatment and Management Options

Treatment depends on the cause and type of incontinence. Options may include:

  • Lifestyle and diet changes

    • Increasing fluid intake (often up to about 2 liters a day, unless restricted by a doctor)
    • High-fiber diet to prevent constipation
    • Reducing caffeine, alcohol, and carbonated drinks

  • Pelvic floor exercises

    • Strengthening pelvic floor muscles
    • Often taught by a pelvic floor physical therapist (many are available in Grand Rapids clinics and hospital systems)

  • Bladder training

    • Scheduled toileting
    • Gradually increasing time between bathroom visits

  • Good toilet habits

    • Taking time, not rushing
    • Proper posture on the toilet

  • Medications

    • For overactive bladder
    • Short-term laxatives for constipation, if recommended by a doctor

  • Continence aids

    • Incontinence pads or briefs (for urine or bowel leakage)
    • Bed and chair protectors
    • Portable commodes

Treatment may take time to show results. In some cases, incontinence can be cured; in others, it can be significantly improved or managed, even if not completely eliminated.

General Tips for Carers in Grand Rapids

Aim to Be Calm and Patient

The person you care for may feel:

  • Deeply distressed, ashamed, or humiliated
  • Afraid to leave the house for fear of accidents
  • Worried about being a “burden”

Your calm, matter-of-fact attitude can reduce their embarrassment. Try to:

  • Use neutral language (“let’s get cleaned up” instead of “you had an accident again”)
  • Avoid blame or criticism
  • Reassure them that incontinence is a health issue, not their fault

Talk Openly About the Situation

If the person is able to discuss it:

  • Ask what makes them most uncomfortable or worried
  • Involve them in decisions about pads, clothing, and toileting schedules
  • Explain that many people in Grand Rapids and across Michigan deal with incontinence—it is common and treatable

Accept Your Own Discomfort

You may feel embarrassed, especially in public or when other family members are around. Try to:

  • Acknowledge your feelings without judging yourself
  • Focus on the person’s dignity and comfort
  • Remember that this is a health task, like giving medicine or helping with bathing

Use Humour When Appropriate

Gentle, respectful humor can:

  • Ease tension
  • Reduce embarrassment
  • Help you both cope with the situation

Avoid jokes that make the person feel mocked or shamed. Let them take the lead on what feels okay.

Looking After Yourself as a Carer

Caring for someone with incontinence can be physically and emotionally draining, especially during long Michigan winters when you may be indoors more often.

Try to:

  • Plan regular breaks – ask family, friends, or respite services to help
  • Use local support – talk to:
    • Your own doctor about stress, sleep, or depression
    • Carer support groups in the Grand Rapids area
  • Stay active and connected – short walks, community centers, or faith communities can provide a mental break

If you feel persistently overwhelmed, angry, or depressed, seek professional help. Your wellbeing is essential for quality care.

Practical Tips: Pads and Clothing

Choosing and Using Pads

Incontinence pads and briefs are widely available in Grand Rapids at:

  • Pharmacies (Meijer, Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid)
  • Big-box stores (Target, Walmart, Costco, Sam’s Club)
  • Medical supply stores and online retailers

Tips:

  • Use products designed specifically for urinary or bowel incontinence, not regular menstrual pads
  • Ask a pharmacist or continence nurse for advice on:
    • Absorbency levels
    • Day vs. night products
    • Skin-friendly options

Changing Pads

  • Change pads as often as needed to keep the skin dry and clean
  • Check the fit of pads and protective garments; adjust to prevent leaks and rubbing
  • Avoid tight-fitting plastic or rubber garments directly on the skin, as they can cause rashes

Clothing Choices

Choose clothing that makes toileting and pad changes easier:

  • Elastic waistbands instead of zippers or buttons
  • Velcro fasteners for people with arthritis or limited hand strength
  • Machine-washable garments that do not require ironing

Making Toileting Easier and Safer

Mobility and bathroom access can be a bigger challenge in winter when floors may be damp and the person is wearing more layers.

Home Modifications and Aids

Consider:

  • Raised toilet seat – makes sitting and standing easier
  • Wall-mounted grab bars – for stability
  • Non-slip flooring – remove loose rugs and mats that can cause falls
  • Good lighting – especially at night

Make sure:

  • The toilet seat is securely fastened
  • The path to the bathroom is clear, especially in the dark or when the person is unsteady

Toileting Habits

  • Do not rush the person while they are on the toilet
  • Create a calm atmosphere – soft music can help
  • If they have trouble starting to urinate:
    • Run a tap
    • Offer small sips of water

Watch for patterns:

  • Note times of day when they usually need to go
  • Gently suggest bathroom visits based on their typical schedule (e.g., after meals, before leaving the house, before bed)

Nighttime and Distance Issues

  • If the bathroom is far from the bedroom, consider:
    • A portable commode by the bed
    • A urinal or bedpan, if appropriate
  • Use nightlights in the hallway and bathroom

Tracking Toileting Patterns

Keeping simple notes can help you and the healthcare team:

  • How often they urinate and have bowel movements
  • Amount of urine (small, moderate, large)
  • Stool consistency (hard, normal, loose, watery)
  • When leaks occur (coughing, rushing to the toilet, at night, etc.)
  • What and when they drink and eat

This information helps doctors and continence specialists in Grand Rapids assess issues like constipation, diarrhea, overactive bladder, or medication side effects.

Toileting in Public and Around Grand Rapids

When you are out:

  • Use accessible/disabled toilets when available:
    • They are usually unisex
    • Have more space for two people
    • Often have grab bars and higher seats

Respect privacy:

  • Allow the person as much privacy as is safely possible
  • If you must stay with them, keep a calm, relaxed demeanor

Plan ahead:

  • Before leaving home, identify restrooms at:
    • Malls, medical centers, grocery stores, and restaurants
    • Public venues like the Van Andel Arena, DeVos Place, or local parks
  • Encourage a bathroom visit before leaving and upon arrival at destinations

Hygiene Tips for Carers

Good hygiene helps prevent skin irritation, infections, and odors.

Cleaning Up Safely

Suggestions:

  • Wear disposable gloves (available at supermarkets and pharmacies) when helping with clean-up
  • Gently wash the skin with warm water and a soft cloth
  • Pat dry thoroughly—do not rub hard
  • Apply a barrier cream sparingly to protect skin from moisture and irritation

Afterward:

  • Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water, even if you wore gloves
  • Clean any reusable equipment (commodes, urinals) according to instructions

Disposing of Pads and Gloves

  • Do not flush pads, wipes, or gloves down the toilet
  • Wrap used pads and gloves in a plastic bag and place in the trash
  • Consider a covered trash can with a liner for used products

When to See a Doctor Urgently

Contact a doctor or seek urgent care at a Grand Rapids clinic or emergency department (e.g., Spectrum Health Butterworth Hospital, Trinity Health Grand Rapids) if the person experiences:

  • Inability to urinate
  • Sudden new bedwetting or loss of urinary control
  • Severe or chronic constipation
  • Diarrhea lasting longer than 24 hours
  • Persistent skin rash that does not improve with careful hygiene and barrier creams
  • Blood in urine or stool
  • Fever, pain, burning on urination, or confusion (may indicate a urinary tract infection)
  • Strong negative emotions such as intense anger, stress, or depression in either the carer or the person being cared for

Local Resources for Incontinence Support in Grand Rapids

Where to get help:

  • Your GP/Primary Care Doctor – first point of contact
  • Local continence clinics or pelvic health specialists – often within:
    • Spectrum Health/Corewell Health
    • Trinity Health Grand Rapids
    • Metro Health – University of Michigan Health
    • Mercy Health and affiliated clinics
  • Kent County Health Department – for community health information and referrals
  • Local home health agencies – for in-home nursing and continence support
  • Carer support services and senior centers – for respite care and support groups

Ask your healthcare provider for specific referrals based on your insurance and location within the Grand Rapids metro area.

Key Points for Carers in Grand Rapids, MI

  • Effective treatments are available to help improve, manage, or sometimes cure incontinence.
  • There are different types and causes of incontinence; a proper assessment is important.
  • Treatment depends on the type and cause of the person’s incontinence and may include lifestyle changes, exercises, medications, and continence aids.
  • Treatment may take time to work; in many cases, it can manage incontinence even if it does not completely cure it.
  • Despite good treatment and planning, accidents will still happen from time to time—try to keep a calm, practical attitude.
  • You are not alone—Grand Rapids has strong healthcare systems and community resources to support both the person with incontinence and you as the carer.