Family Violence: Tips for Children and Young People in Grand Rapids, Michigan

If you are a child or teenager living in Grand Rapids and there is a lot of yelling, swearing, throwing things, pushing, or hitting at home, this is called family violence. It is never okay and it is never your fault.

This guide is for children and young people in Grand Rapids, MI to help you:

  • Understand what family violence is
  • Learn how to stay as safe as possible
  • Know what to do if someone is hurting you or someone you love
  • Find local help in Grand Rapids and across Michigan

Grand Rapids has strong healthcare and community support systems, including Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, Mercy Health, and the Kent County Health Department, where trained professionals can help keep you safe.

If You Are in Immediate Danger

  • Call 911 right away if you or someone in your family is in danger right now.
  • If you can, go to a safe place in your home (a room with a door you can close, away from weapons or sharp objects) and call 911.
  • You can also go to a trusted neighbor’s house and ask them to call 911 for you.

In Grand Rapids, police and emergency services are trained to respond to family violence and to help protect children and teens.

What Is Family Violence?

Family violence (also called domestic violence or abuse) can happen in any type of family, in any neighborhood in Grand Rapids – from downtown to the suburbs and nearby townships. It can be:

  • Between parents or caregivers
  • Between a parent and a child
  • Between brothers and sisters
  • Between other relatives or adults living in the home

Family violence is always wrong. It is never caused by you, even if adults say it is.

When Violence Is Directed at You or a Sibling

If someone in your family is hurting you or your brother or sister, this is called child abuse. Child abuse is a serious crime in Michigan, and there are laws and services to protect you.

Types of Family Violence

Family violence is not just hitting. It can be:

1. Physical Violence

This includes someone:

  • Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, or pushing
  • Biting, choking, or burning you or someone else
  • Throwing or breaking things to scare you
  • Hurting or threatening to hurt your pets
  • Threatening to hurt you or another family member in any of these ways

2. Verbal and Emotional Abuse

This includes:

  • Yelling, screaming, or constantly swearing at you or another family member
  • Calling you names, putting you down, or insulting you
  • Blaming you for their problems or for the violence
  • Threatening to leave you, throw you out, or hurt someone you love
  • Controlling what you do, who you see, or where you go

3. Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is any sexual touching, behavior, or talk that you do not want, do not understand, or that makes you feel scared, confused, or uncomfortable. This includes:

  • Touching your private body parts (areas covered by a swimsuit)
  • Asking you to touch someone else’s private parts
  • Showing you sexual pictures or videos
  • Forcing you to do sexual things with them or someone else

No one has the right to touch your body in a sexual way. This includes family members, family friends, neighbors, or anyone else.

4. Neglect

Neglect happens when adults responsible for you:

  • Do not give you enough food, clothing, or a safe place to live
  • Do not take you to the doctor when you are sick or hurt
  • Leave you alone for long periods when you are too young to care for yourself
  • Do not protect you from violence or danger in the home

How Family Violence Can Make You Feel

Living with family violence in Grand Rapids – especially during long winters when people are indoors more – can be very stressful and frightening. You might:

  • Feel frightened, sad, ashamed, confused, or unhappy
  • Feel like you are to blame for the violence (you are not)
  • Have stomach aches, headaches, or feel sick a lot
  • Stop eating or not feel like eating
  • Cry a lot or feel like you want to run away
  • Have trouble sleeping, have nightmares, or wet the bed
  • Find school hard, lose interest in schoolwork or friends
  • Have trouble concentrating in class
  • Feel angry and want to hurt yourself, someone else, or break things
  • Have trouble talking, maybe start to stutter
  • Constantly worry about the safety of someone in your family

These are normal reactions to a very stressful and unsafe situation. The most important thing is to get help and stay as safe as possible.

Important Things to Remember

If you think you or someone in your family is being abused:

  • The person being violent may try to make you feel responsible, ashamed, or guilty.
  • They may say, “You made me do this,” or “If you tell, something bad will happen.”
  • They are wrong. What they are doing is not okay and it is not your fault.
  • Family violence is not a special secret you have to keep. Keeping it secret is unsafe.

Family Violence Is a Crime in Michigan

Hitting, hurting, sexually touching, or seriously neglecting a child is against the law. Threatening or hurting a partner or family member is also a crime.

You have the right to be safe in your home in Grand Rapids.

It’s Okay to Tell – Keeping It a Secret Is Unsafe

Nothing is so awful that it can’t be talked about with a safe adult.

Telling someone:

  • Helps you and your family become safer
  • Lets adults who care about you take action
  • Can connect you with support services in Grand Rapids and across Michigan

You might feel scared or nervous to tell, and it may be hard to find the words. That’s normal. Do the best you can to explain what is happening.

How to Tell Someone and Get Help

Talk to a Trusted Adult

Think of an adult you feel safe with and who listens to you. This might be:

  • A teacher, school counselor, school social worker, or school nurse
  • A trusted neighbor or your friend’s parent
  • A coach, youth group leader, or mentor
  • A relative you trust (aunt, uncle, grandparent, older cousin)
  • A doctor, nurse, or counselor at a clinic or hospital in Grand Rapids (for example, at Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, or Mercy Health)

Tell them:

  • That you are scared or worried about what is happening at home
  • What you have seen, heard, or experienced
  • Who is doing it and how often it happens

If it is too hard to talk face-to-face, you can:

  • Write it down in a note or letter
  • Draw a picture of what is happening
  • Send an email or message to a trusted adult (if that is safe for you)
  • Call a helpline from a safe phone

Keep on Telling Until Someone Helps

Sometimes the first person you tell may not know what to do or may not understand how serious it is. If:

  • You feel you are not being heard, or
  • Nothing changes and you still feel unsafe

Keep telling different adults until someone takes action and you feel safer. Do not stop telling just because you were not listened to the first time.

Your Body Belongs to You

You have the right to feel safe in your own body.

  • No one should touch any part of your body in a way that makes you feel scared, confused, embarrassed, or hurt.
  • This includes your private body parts (areas covered by a swimsuit).
  • It is okay to firmly say “STOP” and move away if someone touches you in a way that feels wrong.

Some touching is friendly and okay, like:

  • Hugging friends or family members (if you want to)
  • Holding hands with a friend
  • Play wrestling with a brother or sister when everyone is having fun
  • Giving a family member a shoulder massage if you both feel comfortable

If you are ever unsure whether touching is safe or not, talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, or healthcare provider.

What to Do If a Friend Is Being Abused

If a friend in Grand Rapids tells you they are being hurt at home or you think they are experiencing family violence:

  1. Listen and believe them.

    • Many kids are scared no one will believe them.
    • Try not to look shocked, even if what they say is upsetting.

  2. Offer comfort and support.

    • Tell them it is not their fault.
    • Let them know you care about them.

  3. Encourage them to tell a trusted adult.

    • A teacher, school counselor, coach, or parent they trust.
    • Offer to go with them if that makes it easier.

  4. Do not keep it to yourself.

    • Even if they ask you to keep it a secret, it is more important that they are safe.
    • Tell an adult you trust so your friend can get help.

  5. Share helpline information.

    • Give them phone numbers or websites of services that can help (see below).

Help your friend keep telling until they feel reassured and are safe.

Local and Statewide Help in Grand Rapids, Michigan

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, you are not alone. There are services in Grand Rapids and across Michigan that can help children, teens, and families.

In an Emergency

  • Call 911 – if someone is in immediate danger, if there is serious violence, or if you are scared someone might get badly hurt.

Local Grand Rapids and Kent County Resources

  • Kent County Health Department
    Offers connections to family support, mental health, and child protection resources.
    Website: search “Kent County Health Department family violence”

  • Grand Rapids Public Schools & Local Schools
    School counselors, social workers, and nurses can help you contact child protective services or local agencies.

  • Local Hospitals and Clinics

    • Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, and Mercy Health all have doctors, nurses, and social workers who can:
      • Treat injuries
      • Connect you with counselors
      • Help report abuse to the proper authorities

Ask to speak privately to a nurse, doctor, or social worker if you feel unsafe at home.

Michigan Statewide Services

  • Michigan Child Protective Services (CPS)
    If you think a child is being abused or neglected in Michigan, an adult can call the Michigan Child Abuse & Neglect Hotline:

    • Phone: 1-855-444-3911 (24 hours, 7 days a week)

  • Michigan 2-1-1

    • Dial 2-1-1 or visit the 211 website to find local shelters, counseling, and family violence services in the Grand Rapids area.

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline

    • Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
    • Chat and resources available online

  • National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

    • Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
    • Online chat and support

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

    • Call or text 988 if you are feeling so upset that you are thinking about hurting yourself or feel you cannot cope.

Staying Safe in Grand Rapids

Because Michigan has long, cold winters and storms that can keep families indoors for long periods, tension at home can sometimes feel worse. Your safety matters all year round.

Here are some ideas that may help:

  • Know safe places in your home where there are no weapons and you can get to a phone.
  • Plan where you could go nearby (a neighbor, friend’s house, or trusted adult) if you need to leave quickly.
  • Memorize important phone numbers if you can (911, a trusted adult, a helpline).
  • Keep a small bag ready with essentials (if this is safe and won’t be found) if you are very worried about having to leave in an emergency.

Always remember: staying safe is more important than protecting someone who is hurting you or others.

Key Points to Remember

  • You did not cause the violence in your family.
  • Family violence and child abuse are crimes in Michigan.
  • It is not your fault and not a secret you must keep.
  • There are people in Grand Rapids and across Michigan who will listen and help.
  • Keep telling different trusted adults until someone takes action and you feel safer.
  • If a friend is being abused, help them get support and make sure an adult knows so the abuse can stop.

You deserve to feel safe at home, at school, and in your community in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Help is available, and you do not have to face this alone.