Family Violence and Children in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Domestic violence (often called “family violence”) includes physical, verbal, sexual, financial, or emotional abuse between family members or intimate partners. In Grand Rapids and across Kent County, many children are exposed to family violence in their homes, and this can have serious emotional, behavioral, and physical effects.

Children who witness regular acts of violence often experience greater emotional and behavioral problems than other children. Even very young children and infants can be profoundly frightened and affected, even if they do not fully understand what is happening.

In Grand Rapids, support is available through local hospitals, clinics, and community organizations to help families break the cycle of abuse and protect children.

How Family Violence Affects Children

Contrary to popular belief, simply “witnessing” violence between people they love can affect children as deeply as being the direct victim of abuse. This includes:

  • Seeing one parent hurt or threatened
  • Hearing yelling, threats, or things breaking from another room
  • Seeing the aftermath (injuries, crying, damaged property)
  • Being used to send messages or “take sides”

If a parent or caregiver fears for their own safety or the safety of their children, it is critical to get to a safe place as soon as possible and seek help.

Factors That Influence a Child’s Response

A child’s response to repeated family violence depends on:

  • Age and stage of development
  • Gender
  • Personality and coping skills
  • Role in the family (for example, “protector,” “peacemaker,” or “scapegoat”)
  • Support from other safe adults (relatives, teachers, counselors)

Children in Grand Rapids may also be affected by local stressors such as:

  • Financial strain or unemployment
  • Seasonal stress, especially during long Michigan winters
  • Limited access to transportation or safe housing

Immediate Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Children and teens living with family violence may show changes in behavior, emotions, or physical health. Short-term effects can include:

  • Blaming themselves for the violence
  • Sleep problems, including nightmares or trouble falling asleep
  • Regression (returning to earlier behaviors), such as:
    • Bedwetting
    • Thumb sucking
    • Clinging to caregivers
  • Increased anxiety or fearfulness
  • Aggressive or destructive behavior
  • Withdrawing from friends, school, or activities
  • Becoming a victim or perpetrator of bullying
  • Showing cruelty to animals
  • Stress-related physical complaints, such as:
    • Headaches
    • Stomach aches
    • General aches and pains
  • Speech difficulties, such as stuttering or sudden changes in speech

In older teens and young adults, these effects can also include:

  • Misusing drugs or alcohol
  • Risky behavior or unsafe relationships
  • Skipping school or dropping grades

Long-Term Effects of Family Violence on Children

Without support and intervention, children who grow up around family violence are at higher risk of long-term problems, including:

  • Alcohol or drug dependence in adolescence or adulthood
  • Poor nutrition and not getting all their nutritional needs met
  • Ongoing school and learning difficulties
  • Emotional problems related to chronic anxiety, stress, or trauma
  • Difficulty forming healthy, trusting relationships
  • Loss of trust in adults and authority figures
  • Higher risk of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health conditions
  • Increased risk of self-harm or suicide later in life
  • Copying destructive relationship patterns they observed at home

A child growing up in an abusive household may learn that:

  • Violence is a normal way to solve problems
  • It is acceptable to control, degrade, or hurt others
  • They must stay silent to stay “safe”

However, these outcomes are not inevitable. With appropriate support, counseling, and safe environments, children can heal and learn healthier ways to cope and relate to others.

The Impact of Parental Alcohol and Drug Use

In some Grand Rapids families, alcohol or drug dependence is part of the cycle of family violence. Parents or caregivers who misuse substances may:

  • Be unable to care for their children consistently or safely
  • Neglect their children’s basic needs (food, hygiene, supervision)
  • Become more aggressive, unpredictable, or violent when using
  • Prioritize substances over their children’s safety and emotional needs

Problematic parental substance use may affect a child by:

  • Increasing their own risk of misusing alcohol or drugs
  • Making it harder to trust adults
  • Creating unstable routines and living situations
  • Increasing exposure to dangerous situations or people

Children need consistency, routine, and predictable care to develop a sense of security. Parents who are dependent on alcohol or other drugs may struggle to provide this without professional support.

Domestic Violence Does Not Resolve Itself

Family violence rarely stops on its own. In many cases, it becomes more frequent and more severe over time.

Seeking support to stop the violence:

  • Shows your child that abuse is never acceptable
  • Demonstrates that it is okay to ask for help
  • Begins to break the cycle of violence for future generations

In Grand Rapids, you can speak with your primary care provider at Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health – University of Michigan Health, or Mercy Health. They can provide confidential advice, referrals to counseling, and information about local shelters and legal resources.

How to Help Your Child After Family Violence

Children can recover and thrive when they are safe and supported. You can help your child emotionally recover from domestic violence in many ways:

1. Take Action to Protect Your Child

  • Remove children from immediate danger and go to a safe place.
  • If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
  • Consider contacting a local shelter or crisis line for safety planning.

2. Be Clear That Violence Is Wrong

  • Tell your child that abusive behavior is never okay.
  • Explain that no one deserves to be hurt or threatened.
  • Be a role model for non-violent ways of managing anger and solving problems.

3. Reassure and Comfort Your Child

  • Reassure them that the violence was not their fault in any way.
  • Tell them often how much you love them.
  • Offer physical comfort if they want it (hugs, cuddles, sitting close).
  • Maintain as much routine as possible (meals, bedtime, school), which is especially important during stressful Michigan winter months when children are indoors more.

4. Encourage Them to Talk About Their Feelings

  • Let your child know it is okay to feel scared, angry, sad, or confused.
  • Encourage them to talk openly about their feelings, but do not force them.
  • Listen calmly and without judgment.
  • Avoid criticizing the child’s feelings or pressuring them to “get over it.”

You might say:

“What happened was not okay. It was not your fault. You can always talk to me about how you feel, and I will listen.”

5. Enlist Other Trusted Adults

  • Ask a trusted adult (grandparent, teacher, school counselor, coach, youth leader, pastor, or neighbor) to provide extra emotional support.
  • In Grand Rapids, school counselors and social workers can help connect children to local mental health services.

6. Seek Professional Help for Your Child

Consider professional help if your child:

  • Has ongoing nightmares or sleep problems
  • Is very withdrawn or very aggressive
  • Shows big changes in school performance or behavior
  • Talks about hurting themselves or others
  • Seems constantly anxious, fearful, or depressed

Local options include:

  • Pediatricians and family doctors at Spectrum Health Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital or other Grand Rapids clinics
  • Child psychologists, therapists, or social workers
  • Community mental health services in Kent County

7. Seek Support for Yourself and Other Family Members

  • A parent with alcohol or drug dependence needs professional treatment, which may include:
    • Medical treatment or detox
    • Outpatient or inpatient rehab programs
    • Counseling and support groups
  • Keep all alcohol, medications, and other harmful substances locked away and out of children’s reach.
  • Consider counseling for yourself to help you cope with stress, trauma, and difficult decisions.

When parents receive support, they are better able to provide a safe, stable environment for their children.

Local Resources in Grand Rapids and Kent County

If you or your children are experiencing family violence in Grand Rapids, help is available. In an emergency, always call 911.

You can also contact:

  • Kent County Health Department
    For information on local health and support services.
    Website: https://www.accesskent.com/Health

  • Grand Rapids Public Health / City of Grand Rapids
    Offers connections to community resources and support services.

  • Local Hospitals and Clinics

    • Spectrum Health and Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital
    • Trinity Health Grand Rapids
    • Metro Health – University of Michigan Health
    • Mercy Health
      These providers can offer medical care, mental health referrals, and social work support.

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline
    1‑800‑799‑SAFE (7233) | TTY 1‑800‑787‑3224 | 24/7 confidential support
    Website: https://www.thehotline.org

  • Love is Respect (for teens and young adults)
    1‑866‑331‑9474 | Text “LOVEIS” to 22522
    Website: https://www.loveisrespect.org

  • Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
    1‑800‑4‑A‑CHILD (1‑800‑422‑4453) | 24/7 support for children and adults

You can also talk to:

  • Your primary care provider (GP/doctor)
  • Your child’s school counselor or social worker
  • A licensed therapist or family counselor in the Grand Rapids area

Taking the First Step

Seeking help for family violence is a courageous and important step. In Grand Rapids, Michigan, you are not alone—local hospitals, mental health providers, and community organizations are ready to support you and your children.

Protecting children from violence and getting support sends a powerful message:
Abuse is not acceptable, and a safer, healthier future is possible.