Dementia and Residential Care in Grand Rapids, MI: Coping With Placement

When a loved one with dementia moves into a memory care unit, assisted living, or nursing home in Grand Rapids, the role of family and caregivers usually does not end. Instead, it changes.

Many families in West Michigan stay closely involved after placement—whether their loved one is at a Spectrum Health facility, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health–University of Michigan Health, Mercy Health, or another local memory care community. Staying connected can support your loved one’s emotional well-being and help you adjust to this new stage of caregiving.

This guide offers practical tips for Grand Rapids families on visiting, staying involved, and coping with common challenges like hearing “I want to go home.”

Staying Involved After Dementia Placement in Grand Rapids

The level of involvement will be different for every family and every person with dementia. Some relatives continue to help with hands-on care (as allowed by the facility), such as:

  • Assisting at mealtimes
  • Helping with grooming or clothing choices
  • Participating in daily activities or group programs

Others focus more on social and emotional support—visiting regularly, attending care conferences, and joining family support groups offered by local providers.

In Grand Rapids, visiting is often the main way families stay connected after their loved one moves into residential care. Even if you are no longer providing day-to-day caregiving at home, your presence can bring comfort, familiarity, and a sense of identity to the person with dementia.

Family visits from children, grandchildren, and old friends can be especially meaningful.

Encouraging Grandchildren and Younger Family Members to Visit

Many Grand Rapids families want grandchildren to stay involved but worry about how kids will handle visiting a memory care facility.

Here are some ways to make visits easier for children:

  • Prepare a “visiting bag”
    Include:

    • Coloring books or simple crafts
    • Small toys or fidget items
    • Snacks or treats (approved by the facility)
    • A favorite book to read aloud

  • Explain what to expect in simple terms
    Let children know:

    • Their grandparent may repeat questions
    • They might not remember names
    • It’s okay if the conversation is short or quiet

  • Consider pet visits if allowed
    Many facilities in Grand Rapids allow pets to visit with prior approval and vaccination records. A calm dog or cat can:

    • Provide comfort and sensory stimulation
    • Give children something to focus on
    • Help ease awkwardness during visits

Work with the facility staff to plan visits at times when your loved one is usually more alert and calm—often late morning or early afternoon.

Making Visits More Enjoyable and Meaningful

As dementia progresses, visiting can feel more challenging, especially during our long Michigan winters when outdoor activities are limited. Planning simple, sensory-rich activities can help.

Activities to Share During Visits

  • Bring newspapers and magazines to look at together
    Choose:

    • Local Grand Rapids or Michigan newspapers
    • Magazines with large photos (gardening, cars, nature, or local interest)

  • Read mail or cards together

    • Read letters aloud
    • Help them open cards from family and friends
    • Talk briefly about who sent each note

  • Look at photo albums or digital photos

    • Use old family albums from Grand Rapids or West Michigan vacations
    • Show pictures on a tablet or phone (with large, clear images)
    • Focus on simple comments: “This is you at Reeds Lake,” “This is our old house on the west side.”

  • Listen to familiar music

    • Bring a playlist of favorite songs from their youth
    • Play hymns, Motown, country, or polka—whatever they loved
    • Sing along softly; music often reaches people even in later stages of dementia

  • Watch a favorite show or short video

    • Old TV shows or movies they enjoyed
    • Short nature videos (lakes, forests, birds) that may feel familiar to someone who lived in Michigan for years

Helping With the Room and Personal Care

If the facility permits, you can:

  • Help decorate and tidy the room

    • Add family photos, artwork from grandchildren, or familiar items from home
    • Bring a cozy blanket or pillow (appropriate for Michigan’s cold winters)
    • Add a small plant or seasonal décor (fall leaves, winter scenes, spring flowers)

  • Assist with gentle grooming

    • Brush or comb their hair
    • Apply hand lotion or gently massage hands and arms
    • Paint nails if that was something they enjoyed
    • Offer lip balm or face cream in dry winter months

These small acts can provide comfort, dignity, and a sense of normal routine.

Staying Connected With Others

  • Assist with writing or dictating letters

    • Help them send cards to friends or relatives
    • Write short notes for them to sign

  • Bring other visitors

    • Coordinate visits with siblings, friends, or members of their faith community
    • Ask church or temple members if they offer visitation ministries in Grand Rapids

Enjoying Outings and Time Outdoors in West Michigan

Even after placement, some people with dementia can still enjoy short outings, depending on their health and facility policies.

Simple Outings to Consider

  • A stroll or wheelchair ride around the facility grounds

    • In warmer months, enjoy gardens, patios, or walking paths
    • In fall, look at colorful Michigan leaves
    • In winter, you might sit near a window and watch the snow if outdoor walks aren’t safe

  • A short drive
    With facility approval:

    • A brief car ride through familiar Grand Rapids neighborhoods
    • A stop for ice cream, coffee, or afternoon tea
    • A drive by the Grand River or local parks

  • Visiting another resident

    • If they have a friend or spouse in the same facility, visiting together can be comforting

Using the Senses to Create Comfort

Sensory experiences can be very soothing for people with dementia:

  • Sight

    • Look at flowers, birds, or Lake Michigan photos
    • Watch family videos or nature scenes

  • Sound

    • Listen to music, nature sounds, or calming instrumental pieces

  • Smell

    • Gently scented hand creams or oils (check for allergies)
    • The smell of coffee, baked goods, or flowers

  • Touch

    • Hold hands, offer a gentle hug or kiss on the cheek
    • Lightly massage legs, hands, or feet with lotion, if they enjoy it

  • Facial expressions

    • A warm smile, kind eye contact, and a relaxed posture can be deeply reassuring, even when words are hard to find

There is no “correct” number of visits or length of stay. The most important thing is to make each visit as calm, positive, and meaningful as possible—for both you and your loved one.

Coping With Goodbyes: Making Parting Less Stressful

Leaving after a visit can be one of the hardest moments, especially if your loved one becomes upset or confused.

To make farewells easier:

  • Use an activity as a natural ending

    • Bring a puzzle, photo album, or short video
    • When the activity ends, gently say it’s time for you to go

  • Coordinate with staff

    • Ask staff to redirect your loved one after you leave
    • Plan your departure around mealtimes or scheduled activities so they have something else to focus on

  • Set expectations early in the visit

    • At the beginning, calmly say something like:
      • “I can stay for about an hour, then I have to go pick up the kids.”
      • “I’ll visit until lunchtime, then I need to head home.”

Keep Farewells Brief

Lingering, apologizing, or repeatedly saying goodbye can sometimes make future partings more difficult. A simple, calm farewell works best:

  • Offer a hug or hand squeeze
  • Say something reassuring like, “I’ll see you again soon”
  • Then leave promptly and let staff provide support if needed

When Your Loved One Says “I Want to Go Home”

Many families in Grand Rapids hear this heartbreaking phrase from a loved one in residential dementia care: “I want to go home.”

This can be very upsetting, but it’s important to understand what “home” might mean:

  • It may reflect feelings of insecurity, fear, or sadness
  • “Home” might mean:
    • A childhood house that no longer exists
    • A time in life when they felt safe and independent
    • Being with parents, siblings, or friends who have passed away

How to Respond With Compassion

Instead of correcting or arguing, try these approaches:

  • Acknowledge the feeling

    • “You miss home. It sounds like you’re feeling unsettled.”
    • “You really loved that house on the west side, didn’t you?”

  • Offer reassurance

    • “You’re safe here, and people are taking good care of you.”
    • “I’m here with you now, and I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

  • Use gentle touch if welcomed

    • Hold their hand
    • Offer a light hug
    • Sit close by so they feel your presence

  • Reminisce together

    • Look at old photographs of their home, family, or neighborhood
    • Talk about childhood memories, holidays, or Michigan traditions

  • Redirect with a calming activity

    • Offer a snack or warm drink
    • Suggest a short walk down the hallway or to a common area
    • Play familiar music or look through a photo album

Try not to argue, correct, or insist they are “already home.” Logical explanations rarely help and can increase distress. Focusing on comfort and emotional validation is usually more effective.

Local Support for Dementia Caregivers in Grand Rapids, MI

Caring for a loved one with dementia—whether at home or after placement in a facility—can be emotionally and physically exhausting. You do not have to do this alone.

Dementia and Caregiver Support Resources in Grand Rapids

  • Your primary care provider or neurologist

    • Talk with your Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, or Mercy Health clinician about behavior changes, mood, or caregiver stress.

  • Kent County Health Department & Grand Rapids Public Health

    • Offer information on local senior services, caregiver resources, and community health programs.

  • Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan

    • Helps connect families with:
      • Caregiver support programs
      • Respite care options
      • Education on dementia and aging

  • Local dementia and caregiver support groups

    • Many hospitals, memory clinics, and senior centers in Grand Rapids host support groups. These groups:
      • Connect you with others caring for someone with dementia
      • Provide emotional support and practical tips
      • Are often led by healthcare professionals or experienced caregivers

Ask the social worker or case manager at your loved one’s facility for a current list of local dementia support groups and counseling services.

National and Regional Helplines (Check for Michigan Availability)

These services can offer guidance, especially after hours:

  • National Dementia Helpline – for information and support
  • Carer support organizations – for counseling, respite options, and legal/financial guidance
  • Dementia behavior support services – for 24-hour advice on managing challenging behaviors

Ask your Grand Rapids healthcare provider, Kent County Health Department, or Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan for current phone numbers and Michigan-specific programs.

Key Points for Grand Rapids Families Coping With Dementia Placement

  • Visiting is usually very important to both the resident and their family or caregivers.
  • There is no “right” number of visits—focus on making each visit as calm and rewarding as possible.
  • Simple activities—music, photos, gentle touch, and familiar routines—can bring comfort, especially in later stages of dementia.
  • Hearing “I want to go home” is common and often reflects emotional needs, not a literal request. Respond with reassurance, validation, and redirection rather than argument.
  • Grand Rapids and West Michigan offer strong healthcare systems and community resources to support families living with dementia. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure.

If you are caring for someone with dementia in Grand Rapids, talk with your doctor, your loved one’s facility staff, or local public health services about support options tailored to your family’s needs.