Dementia and Communication in Grand Rapids, MI

Losing the ability to communicate can be one of the most challenging parts of dementia—for the person living with dementia and for their family and caregivers. As dementia progresses, people often find it harder to express their thoughts clearly and to understand what others are saying.

In Grand Rapids, where many older adults receive care through Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, Mercy Health, and local memory care communities, understanding how to communicate effectively with someone who has dementia is essential for maintaining quality of life and dignity.

Check for Vision and Hearing Problems First

Before assuming communication changes are due to dementia alone, it is important to rule out other issues, especially in older adults in West Michigan.

  • Make sure hearing loss is not contributing to the problem.

    • Have hearing checked regularly through a local audiologist or ENT clinic in Grand Rapids.
    • Ensure hearing aids are working properly, have fresh batteries, and fit comfortably.

  • Make sure vision problems are addressed.

    • Keep glasses clean and within easy reach.
    • Consider regular eye exams at local eye care centers in Kent County.

Michigan’s long, dark winters and shorter daylight hours can also affect vision comfort and safety, making good lighting and regular eye care especially important for older adults in Grand Rapids homes and care facilities.

How Dementia Affects Communication

Each person with dementia is unique. The type of dementia (such as Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, or Lewy body dementia) affects the brain in different ways and can lead to different communication challenges.

Common Communication Changes in Dementia

You may notice the person:

  • Has difficulty understanding what you are saying, or only understands part of it.
  • Loses some social “rules” of conversation, such as:
    • Interrupting more often
    • Ignoring a speaker
    • Not responding when spoken to
  • Has trouble finding the right word, and may:
    • Use a related word instead
    • Use speech that doesn’t fully make sense
  • Has declining reading and writing skills.
  • Struggles to express emotions appropriately, sometimes seeming angry, withdrawn, or upset without being able to explain why.

Even when words are lost, feelings and emotions are often still very strong. This is why how you speak—and how you behave—matters so much.

The Role of Body Language and Tone

When we communicate, our message is made up of:

  • Body language (facial expressions, posture, gestures) – about 55% of communication
  • Tone and pitch of voice – about 38% of communication
  • Actual words used – about 7% of communication

For people with dementia in Grand Rapids and everywhere else, body language and tone often become more important than the words themselves, especially as the disease progresses.

Positive Body Language

Caregivers and family members should pay close attention to:

  • Facial expressions (relaxed, kind, not frustrated)
  • Posture (open and calm, not tense or rushed)
  • Gestures (gentle, not abrupt)

Negative body language—like sighs, rolling eyes, or raised eyebrows—can be easily picked up and may cause distress, even if the person cannot fully understand what is being said.

Practical Tips for Communicating with Someone with Dementia

Ways of Talking

Try to:

  • Remain calm and speak in a gentle, matter-of-fact way.
  • Use short, simple sentences, focusing on one idea at a time.
  • Speak slowly and clearly, but not in a babyish or condescending way.
  • Allow plenty of time for the person to process what you’ve said and to respond.
  • Use names and labels to orient them, such as:
    • “I’m your daughter, Sarah.”
    • “This is your nurse, Tom.”
  • Repeat messages in the same way if needed. Consistency helps everyone—family, professional caregivers, and the person with dementia.

Helpful Body Language

  • Stay still while talking so it’s easier to follow you.
  • Face the person, at their eye level if possible.
  • Use hand gestures and facial expressions to support your words.
  • Offer a warm smile—shared smiles and gentle humor can communicate more than words.

Using Touch

When appropriate and welcome:

  • Touch or hold their hand to keep attention and show you care.
  • A gentle pat on the shoulder or a light hug (if comforting to them) can communicate warmth and reassurance.

Always be sensitive—some people may not like certain types of touch, especially if they feel anxious or confused.

Creating the Right Environment in Grand Rapids Homes and Care Facilities

The environment plays a big role in communication, especially in busy households or care settings in Grand Rapids.

Try to:

  • Reduce competing noise, such as TV, radio, or multiple conversations.
  • Choose a quiet, well-lit space—especially important during darker Michigan winter months.
  • Maintain regular routines, which:
    • Reduce confusion
    • Make communication easier
    • Provide a sense of security

What NOT to Do When Communicating

Avoid:

  • Arguing with the person—it usually increases distress and rarely changes their belief.
  • Ordering them around or using harsh commands.
  • Telling them what they cannot do. Instead, focus on what they can do:
    • Say “Let’s sit here together” instead of “Don’t wander off.”
  • Asking a lot of direct questions that rely on memory:
    • Avoid: “What did you eat for lunch?”
    • Try: “The soup at lunch smelled good, didn’t it?”
  • Talking down to them with a condescending tone.
  • Talking about them as if they are not there, especially in front of healthcare teams at local hospitals or clinics.

Validation Therapy: Entering Their Reality

One communication approach used in dementia care is validation therapy. This method focuses on accepting the person’s reality, rather than trying to force them back into ours.

How Validation Therapy Works

Instead of:

  • Correcting their beliefs
  • Arguing about what is “true”
  • Demanding insight into their condition

You:

  • Acknowledge their feelings.
  • Show empathy and respect for their experience.
  • Provide a sense of security and trust.

Example:
If a woman with dementia in a Grand Rapids memory care facility believes she is waiting for her (now middle-aged) children to come home from school, validation would mean:

  • Not arguing that her children are adults now.
  • Not insisting she “remember” their ages.
  • Saying something like:
    • “You’re thinking about your children. You must have been a very caring mother. Tell me about them.”

This approach:

  • Helps reduce anxiety
  • Maintains dignity and self-esteem
  • Builds trust between the person and their caregivers

Music Therapy and Dementia in Grand Rapids

Music can be a powerful way to connect with someone who has dementia, even when other abilities have declined.

Why Music Helps

  • Familiar music can unlock memories and emotions.
  • People may sing along to old songs even when they struggle to speak.
  • Music can:
    • Improve mood
    • Reduce agitation or difficult behaviors
    • Create moments of joy and connection

Using Music in Everyday Care

To use music effectively:

  • Learn the person’s musical likes and dislikes:
    • Hymns from a Grand Rapids church
    • Motown classics popular in Michigan
    • Songs from their teenage years
  • Use music:
    • During personal care (bathing, dressing) to reduce anxiety
    • At calm times of day to promote relaxation
    • In group activities at senior centers or adult day programs

Be prepared that certain songs may release strong emotions, including sadness. If this happens, provide comfort and support, and switch to something more soothing if distress is overwhelming.

Professional Music Therapy

  • Music therapists are trained to use music to address complex behaviors and emotional needs in dementia.
  • Ask local providers such as Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, or area memory care communities if they offer music therapy programs.
  • The Kent County Health Department or Grand Rapids Public Health resources may also list community-based dementia support and activity programs.

Reminiscence: Reviewing Past Events

Reminiscence is the practice of talking about and reviewing past experiences. In dementia care, it is often a positive and rewarding activity.

Benefits of Reminiscence

  • Provides a sense of peace, identity, and continuity.
  • Can bring pleasure, even if the person cannot participate verbally.
  • Offers a helpful distraction if the person becomes upset.
  • Helps caregivers and staff in Grand Rapids homes or residential care facilities get to know the person’s life story.

Being Sensitive to Painful Memories

While reminiscing usually feels good, it can sometimes bring up:

  • Sad memories
  • Grief or loss
  • Traumatic events

Watch the person’s reactions closely:

  • If they become too distressed, gently change the topic or use another form of distraction.
  • Focus on comfort and reassurance rather than pushing them to continue.

Creating a “This Is Your Life” or Memory Book

A memory book (sometimes called a “This Is Your Life” book) is a visual diary that helps support reminiscence and communication.

What to Include

Use a large photo album or binder with plastic protective sheets. You can include:

  • Labeled photos of:
    • Family members
    • Friends
    • Homes they have lived in
    • Important places in Michigan or Grand Rapids (schools, churches, workplaces, favorite parks)
  • Letters and postcards
  • Certificates and awards
  • Tickets, programs, or memorabilia from meaningful events

How to Make It Dementia-Friendly

  • Label each photo clearly:
    • “Mary, your daughter, at age 10”
    • “Our house on the West Side of Grand Rapids”
  • Avoid putting the person on the spot with questions like “Who is that?”
    Instead, give the information yourself.
  • Keep each page focused on one topic, with no more than two or three items per page.
  • Use large print and clear, simple captions.

This kind of book is especially useful when:

  • New caregivers or home care workers start helping.
  • The person moves into an assisted living or memory care facility in the Grand Rapids area.
  • Family members visit and want a gentle way to connect.

Seasonal and Local Considerations in Grand Rapids

Living in West Michigan brings some specific factors that can affect communication and dementia care:

  • Long, cold winters:
    • More time indoors can increase isolation.
    • Plan indoor communication activities like music, memory books, and simple games.
  • Shorter daylight hours:
    • Can worsen confusion or “sundowning” in late afternoon/evening.
    • Use good indoor lighting and calming routines.
  • Community resources:
    • Kent County Health Department and Grand Rapids Public Health may offer caregiver education, dementia-friendly programs, or support groups.
    • Local hospitals and health systems often have memory clinics, geriatric specialists, and caregiver support services.

Key Points for Dementia Communication in Grand Rapids

  • Always check for vision or hearing problems that might worsen communication.
  • Remember there are many causes of dementia, each affecting the brain—and communication—differently.
  • Body language and tone are often more powerful than words.
  • Repeat messages in the same way—consistency helps both the person with dementia and their caregivers.
  • Use validation, music, and reminiscence to build trust, reduce anxiety, and maintain connection.
  • Above all, focus on preserving dignity and self-esteem in every interaction.

For additional help, talk with your local Grand Rapids healthcare provider, memory clinic, or contact the Kent County Health Department for information on dementia resources, caregiver support, and community programs.