Dementia: Advice for Families in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Dementia affects many families across West Michigan, including right here in Grand Rapids. While most people living with dementia are older adults, their illness can deeply affect children, teens, and young adults in the family. This may be a grandparent, or in cases of younger-onset dementia, a parent or close relative.

In Grand Rapids, where many families live in multigenerational households and stay active through all four seasons, dementia can change daily routines, holiday traditions, and family roles. Understanding how to support children and teens can make a significant difference in how your family copes.

Talking to Children and Teens About Dementia

Be open, honest, and calm

The most important way to help children or grandchildren cope with a family member who has dementia is to:

  • Talk openly in simple, clear language
  • Be willing to listen without judgment
  • Allow them to ask questions and express their feelings

Younger children in Grand Rapids may not be able to absorb a lot of information at once. Keep explanations short and simple, and repeat them when needed. For example:

  • “Grandpa has an illness in his brain called dementia. It makes it hard for him to remember things and think clearly. It’s not your fault, and you can’t catch it like a cold.”

Match your explanation to their age

Young children (elementary age):

  • Use simple words and concrete examples
  • Explain that the person is sick, not “being bad”
  • Reassure them they are safe and cared for

Adolescents and teens (middle school and high school):

Teens in Grand Rapids—whether they attend GRPS, Forest Hills, Rockford, Kentwood, or other area schools—are often better at understanding complex information and expressing their feelings, but they may not start the conversation themselves.

  • Watch for changes in behavior (withdrawal, irritability, slipping grades)
  • Ask open-ended questions: “How are you feeling about what’s happening with Grandma?”
  • Let them know it’s okay to feel confused, angry, or sad

Some teens may avoid talking to parents because they don’t want to add to the stress at home. They may prefer:

  • Trusted friends
  • School counselors or social workers
  • Youth pastors or mentors
  • Professional counselors in the Grand Rapids area

How Young People May React to Dementia

Young people in West Michigan may react differently depending on:

  • Their age and stage of development
  • Their personality
  • How close they are to the person with dementia
  • How often they see or help care for them

Common emotions include:

  • Fear (about the future or about other family members getting sick)
  • Guilt (“I get annoyed” or “I don’t visit enough”)
  • Denial (“They’re fine, it’s not that bad”)
  • Jealousy (of siblings or of the attention the person with dementia receives)
  • Resentment (about extra chores or less time with parents)
  • Frustration and anger
  • Sadness and grief
  • Stress and tension
  • Embarrassment (about behavior in public places like Meijer, church, or school events)
  • Feeling overly responsible or, conversely, refusing any responsibility
  • Hopelessness or despair

Let children and teens know that all of these feelings are normal. They are not bad or selfish for feeling this way.

Helping Children and Teens Cope

Acknowledge their experience

You can support young people by:

  • Letting them know you see how hard this is for them
  • Saying things like, “This is really tough, and your feelings make sense”
  • Giving them permission to say what they really feel—without punishment or criticism

Help them face their fears

Ask gently:

  • “What worries you the most?”
  • “What do you think might happen?”

Some fears may be unrealistic (“Will I get dementia too?”), but they are very real to the child. Respond with reassurance and facts:

  • Most dementia is not directly passed down to children
  • Doctors at local health systems like Spectrum Health and Trinity Health Grand Rapids can help manage symptoms and provide support
  • They will continue to be loved and cared for, no matter what happens

Maintaining Family Structure in Grand Rapids

Keep routines as steady as possible

In a city with distinct seasons like Grand Rapids—snowy winters, rainy springs, hot summers, and colorful falls—routines provide stability when life feels uncertain.

Try to:

  • Keep regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and school routines
  • Continue familiar family activities when possible (game nights, Sunday dinners, walks in local parks like Millennium Park or Riverside Park)
  • Maintain holiday traditions, even if they need to be simplified

Spend one-on-one time with children

Even short daily check-ins matter:

  • Read a book together
  • Talk for 10–15 minutes before bed
  • Take a short walk around the neighborhood

Children and teens need time when they are the focus of your attention, not just the illness.

Making and Keeping Family Plans

Plan activities—and follow through

Make simple family plans and do your best to carry them out, even if:

  • Not everyone is enthusiastic
  • You need to adjust the length or location

For example:

  • A short visit to a favorite Grand Rapids spot (John Ball Zoo, Blandford Nature Center, downtown events)
  • A movie night at home when the weather is harsh
  • A simple picnic at a local park in warmer months

The predictability of plans can help children feel more secure.

Using Respite Care and Support Services

Give everyone a break

Caring for someone with dementia can be exhausting, especially during long Michigan winters when outdoor options are limited. Respite care allows:

  • Parents and grandparents to rest and recharge
  • Children and teens to have time for school, friends, and activities

Local options to explore:

  • Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan – can guide you to respite services
  • Home care agencies and adult day programs in the Grand Rapids area
  • Support through large health systems like Spectrum Health, Metro Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, and Mercy Health

Encourage teenagers to:

  • Maintain friendships
  • Stay involved in sports, clubs, youth groups, or hobbies
  • Make their own plans and pursue their goals (college, trades, work, etc.)

Handling Family Conflicts and Problems

Don’t ignore tension

Set aside specific times to talk as a family about:

  • Responsibilities (who helps with what)
  • Schedules (school, work, appointments)
  • Problems or disagreements

Tips:

  • Keep meetings short and focused
  • Avoid making “helping” the only topic of conversation
  • Make room for fun and non–dementia-related talk too

Involve the school

Notify your child’s:

  • Teacher
  • School counselor or social worker
  • School nurse

Let them know there is a serious illness in the family. This is especially important in Grand Rapids schools, where staff can:

  • Watch for changes in behavior, attendance, or grades
  • Offer counseling or support groups
  • Provide accommodations if needed

Check in with the school from time to time to see how your child is coping.

Encouraging Dementia Education in Schools

Help schools understand dementia

You can:

  • Share age-appropriate information about dementia with teachers or counselors
  • Ask if your child’s school can include dementia or brain health in health or science lessons
  • Encourage participation in awareness activities or projects

Local resources for information include:

  • Kent County Health Department
  • Grand Rapids Public Health resources
  • Dementia and caregiver support programs through major health systems

Parents and grandparents also need to care for themselves—and reassure children that they will not “catch” dementia.

What Young People Can Do to Help

If you are a child or teen in Grand Rapids wondering how you can help a family member with dementia, focus on safe, simple, and calm activities, especially during long indoor seasons.

Choose simple, repetitive activities

People with dementia often:

  • Remember events from long ago better than recent events
  • Have shorter attention spans

You might:

  • Look through a family photo album together
  • Play music they enjoyed when they were younger
  • Do simple crafts, folding towels, or sorting items
  • Watch a favorite TV show or old movie together

Stop or change the activity if they seem anxious, upset, or distracted.

Offer comfort and reassurance

Even if they:

  • Don’t always remember your name
  • Confuse you with someone else

Your presence and kindness still matter. You can:

  • Hold their hand
  • Give a gentle hug
  • Sit quietly with them

The best help you can give is reassurance and showing that you care.

Practical Tips for Young People

Learn about dementia

Understanding the disease can make it less scary. Ask:

  • Your parents or grandparents
  • A school counselor
  • A doctor or nurse at a local clinic

You can also look for trusted health information online, especially from Michigan-based health systems or national organizations.

Be calm and patient

  • Speak slowly and clearly
  • Use short sentences
  • Give the person time to respond
  • Avoid arguing or correcting every mistake

Be involved (but not overwhelmed)

Ways to be involved:

  • Sit with the person while they eat
  • Help them find things they misplace
  • Join in simple activities or conversations

You do not have to do everything. It’s okay to say you’re tired or need a break.

Be understanding

Remember:

  • Strange behavior (like putting clothing in the oven or forgetting familiar places in Grand Rapids) is caused by brain disease
  • They are not doing it on purpose
  • Their anger or tears are part of their illness, not a reflection of your worth

Treat the person with respect

  • Speak to them like an adult, not a child
  • Don’t make fun of their mistakes
  • Avoid saying, “You just told me that!” or “You’re wrong”

If what they say is mixed up but harmless, it’s usually better not to correct them.

Help around the house

You can make life easier for everyone by:

  • Doing small chores (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, shoveling snow, raking leaves)
  • Helping prepare simple meals
  • Watching younger siblings for short periods

These tasks are especially helpful during busy times, like winter storm days or when medical appointments pile up.

Talk to your friends

Explain, in simple terms, what’s happening:

  • “My grandpa has dementia. It makes him forget things and sometimes act differently.”

This can:

  • Reduce embarrassment if friends see unusual behavior
  • Help you feel less alone

Remember: Your feelings are valid. It is very hard to watch someone you love lose independence or forget who you are.

Do Not Blame Yourself

You are not responsible for:

  • The person developing dementia
  • Their behavior
  • Their mood swings or confusion

Dementia is a brain disease. Even when the person:

  • Becomes angry
  • Cries easily
  • Does strange or unsafe things

It is because their brain is damaged, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

Local Help and Dementia Resources in Grand Rapids, MI

If your family is living with dementia in the Grand Rapids area, you do not have to manage this alone. There are many local and regional resources:

Medical and memory care services

  • Spectrum Health – Memory care and neurology services
  • Trinity Health Grand Rapids – Senior health and dementia-related care
  • Metro Health – University of Michigan Health – Neurology and geriatric services
  • Mercy Health – Primary care and specialist referrals

Talk to your GP (primary care doctor) about:

  • Memory evaluations
  • Referrals to neurologists or memory clinics
  • Treatment options and safety planning

Community and public health resources

  • Kent County Health Department
    • Information on aging, caregiver support, and community health programs
  • Grand Rapids Public Health and community health centers
    • Support groups and counseling referrals

Caregiver and family support (phone and online)

  • Area Agency on Aging of Western Michigan (AAA of WM)
    • Help finding respite care, support groups, and services for older adults
  • Alzheimer’s Association (serving Michigan)
    • 24/7 Helpline, educational materials, local support groups
  • Caregiver support programs through local hospitals and clinics

(Phone numbers and specific program details can change; check the latest information on the organizations’ official websites or by calling their main lines.)

When to Reach Out for Extra Help

Consider seeking professional help in Grand Rapids if:

  • Your child or teen is very withdrawn, angry, or anxious
  • School performance drops sharply
  • You feel overwhelmed or burned out as a caregiver
  • Family conflicts are constant and intense

Possible supports include:

  • School counselors or psychologists
  • Licensed therapists or social workers
  • Faith-based counseling services
  • Hospital-based social work and caregiver programs

Living With Dementia as a Grand Rapids Family

Dementia changes family life, but it does not erase love. In a community like Grand Rapids—with strong healthcare systems, active neighborhoods, and a culture of supporting one another—you can build a network of care around your family.

By:

  • Talking openly
  • Maintaining structure and traditions
  • Supporting children and teens emotionally
  • Using local dementia and caregiver resources

you can help your family navigate dementia with more understanding, resilience, and compassion—through every Michigan season.