Anxiety and Fear in Children in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Parents in Grand Rapids and across West Michigan naturally teach their children to be cautious about real dangers—like icy sidewalks in winter, hot stoves, or crossing busy streets such as 28th Street or Michigan Street. In these situations, a certain amount of anxiety can be helpful because it protects children from harm.

However, children can also be fearful of situations or objects that adults don’t see as threatening. Understanding childhood anxiety and knowing when to seek help from local Grand Rapids resources—such as Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, or the Kent County Health Department—can make a big difference for your family.

How Children’s Fears Change Over Time

The sources of fear often change as a child grows:

  • A young child might fear the dark or “monsters under the bed.”
  • An older child might worry more about burglary, violence, school safety, or their parents separating.
  • In Michigan, some kids also worry about winter storms, power outages, or driving in snow and ice.

Teasing a child for being afraid or forcing them to confront frightening situations usually makes anxiety worse. Instead, help your child cope by:

  • Taking their feelings seriously
  • Encouraging them to talk about their fears
  • Giving age-appropriate, honest information
  • Helping them face fears gradually, at their own pace, with your support

If you’re concerned about your child’s anxiety, your Grand Rapids pediatrician or a child psychologist at Spectrum Health or Trinity Health Grand Rapids can provide guidance.

Why Some Children Are More Fearful Than Others

Some children are naturally more sensitive and anxious than others. Contributing factors may include:

  • Genetic susceptibility – A natural tendency toward sensitivity and generalized anxiety
  • Stressful life events – Such as parental separation or divorce, a serious illness, an injury, or a hospital stay at a local facility like Spectrum Health or Metro Health
  • Family stress – Financial strain, housing changes, or conflict at home

If stressors are ongoing, consider local support services through Grand Rapids Public Health or community counseling centers.

Separation Anxiety and Fear of Strangers in Babies

By 6–7 months of age, babies form strong attachments to their parents or primary caregivers. Separation—even for short periods—can cause intense crying and distress. Many babies also go through a phase of fearing strangers.

Helping Your Baby Cope With Separation Anxiety

Suggestions for helping your baby include:

  • Stay connected at home

    • If your baby gets upset when you leave the room, take them with you when possible.
    • If you must step away, talk to them from out of sight so they still hear your voice.

  • Tell them when you’re leaving and returning

    • Say something like, “I’m going to the kitchen; I’ll be right back.”
    • Announce your return so they learn that you come back when you say you will.

This consistency helps your baby learn to trust you and builds a sense of security.

Introducing New People

  • Let your baby meet new people from the safety of your lap.
  • Show your baby with your calm body language and tone that this new person is safe.
  • If your baby is anxious, keep your expression calm and confident.

Avoid leaving your baby to “cry it out” in situations that clearly trigger anxiety; this can increase their distress rather than teaching them to cope.

If you’re worried about your baby’s separation anxiety, you can talk with your pediatrician or a maternal and child health nurse through local health systems in Grand Rapids.

Common Fears in Toddlers (2–3 Years)

Toddlers are just beginning to understand and manage strong feelings like anger, frustration, and excitement. A common fear at this age is being overwhelmed by these powerful emotions.

Because toddlers have a limited understanding of size and space, they may develop fears that seem irrational to adults, such as:

  • Falling down the bathtub drain or plughole
  • Being flushed down the toilet
  • Loud noises like snowplows, thunderstorms, or fireworks over the Grand River

Helping Your Toddler With Anxiety

  • Encourage conversation

    • Invite your child to talk about their fears and worries.
    • Listen without laughing or dismissing their feelings.

  • Validate their experience

    • Recognize that fears like “falling down the drain” feel very real to a toddler.
    • Gently explain concepts like size and space (“You’re much too big to fit in the drain.”).

  • Avoid forcing exposure

    • Don’t force your child to confront the object of their fear (for example, making them sit on a toilet they’re terrified of).
    • This can intensify anxiety instead of reducing it.

Gradual, Gentle Exposure

Accept that you may need to help your child avoid the feared object for a while. Then, slowly and gently:

  • Talk about the feared object in a calm, neutral way.
  • Use play, stories, or pictures to introduce the topic.
  • Move at your child’s pace, not yours.

Toddlers in Grand Rapids may also react to seasonal changes—such as heavy snow, strong winds, or loud storm sirens. Take time to explain weather events calmly and reassure them that adults are keeping them safe.

Common Fears in School-Age Children

As children learn more about the world, the list of things they fear can grow. Some fears are realistic, and others are imaginary. Common fears include:

  • Fear of the dark
  • Fear of burglary or home intruders
  • Worries about war, violence, or school safety
  • Fear of death or illness (including worries about parents or grandparents getting sick)
  • Fear of parents separating or divorcing
  • Fear of supernatural beings (ghosts, monsters, or “creepy” things)

Helping School-Age Children Manage Fear

  • Take their fears seriously

    • Let your child know you believe them and care about what they’re feeling.
    • Avoid minimizing (“That’s silly”) or mocking their worries.

  • Offer honest, age-appropriate information

    • About topics like death, illness, or news events.
    • Let them ask questions and answer calmly and simply.

  • Use gradual exposure with control

    • If your child is afraid of dogs, start with:
      • Looking at pictures of friendly dogs
      • Watching a calm dog from a distance
      • Meeting a small, gentle, leashed dog and letting your child decide how close to get

Give Your Child Some Control

When children feel they have some control, their anxiety often decreases. For example:

  • If your child fears intruders at night, you might:
    • Let them help shut and lock doors and windows before bed.
    • Make checking locks part of a calm nightly routine.

Predictable routines and small responsibilities provide stability and can ease general anxiety.

Families in Grand Rapids can also talk with school counselors or local mental health providers if fears start to affect school performance or friendships.

Fear of the Dark in Children

Many toddlers and preschoolers are afraid of the dark. Their active imaginations and limited ability to separate fantasy from reality can make them believe:

  • Monsters are under the bed
  • Something scary is in the closet
  • Shadows are “creatures” waiting for the lights to go out

If not addressed, fear of the dark can:

  • Disrupt bedtime routines
  • Lead to difficulty falling or staying asleep
  • Cause ongoing nighttime anxiety

Respond With Understanding, Not Frustration

When helping a child who is afraid of the dark:

  • Don’t ridicule, shame, or get angry about their fear.
  • Accept that their feelings are very real to them.
  • Aim to be calm, patient, and consistent.

Talking About Fear of the Dark

The first step is to accept your child’s feelings as real and respond sensitively.

Practical Conversation Tips

  • Ask open questions

    • “What makes you feel scared at night?”
    • “What do you think might happen when the lights go off?”

  • Show understanding, even if you don’t share the fear

    • “I can see that you feel really scared when it’s dark.”
    • “I don’t think there are any monsters, but I understand that it feels that way to you.”

  • Offer realistic reassurance

    • Explain that monsters and similar creatures are pretend.
    • Avoid “checking for monsters” in closets or under the bed, as this can suggest they might be real.

If your child fears the dark because of possible intruders:

  • Show them simple, safe security measures:
    • Locked doors and windows
    • Outdoor lights or motion sensors (if you have them)
  • Never use deadlocks that prevent quick escape while people are inside, due to fire and emergency safety.

Ask your child what would help them feel more secure at night and consider their suggestions.

Comfort Strategies for Nighttime Fears

Offer Comfort Objects and Coping Tools

You can suggest:

  • A special toy, stuffed animal, or blanket to sleep with
  • A favorite book or calming bedtime story
  • Relaxation routines like deep breathing or gentle music

Sometimes fear of the dark is tied to bigger worries, such as:

  • Parents separating or arguing
  • A family member being sick
  • News about violence, accidents, or severe Michigan weather events

Talking honestly and calmly about these issues during the day—not right at bedtime—can help reduce nighttime anxiety.

Creating a Calming Bedtime Routine

A predictable, relaxing bedtime routine can greatly reduce anxiety.

Steps for a Soothing Bedtime

  • Establish a consistent routine

    • Bath, pajamas, brushing teeth
    • Quiet story time or calm conversation
    • Lights down at the same time each night when possible

  • Use gentle lighting

    • Place a nightlight in your child’s room.
    • Let some light from the hallway or nearby room filter in.
    • Consider a bedside lamp your child can turn on if they wake up scared.
    • Use a low-wattage bulb to avoid overly bright light that disrupts sleep.

  • Review their environment

    • At night, look around the room from your child’s perspective.
    • Remove or reposition items that cast scary shadows or look “creepy” in dim light (posters, large toys, hanging clothes).

  • Monitor media exposure

    • Make sure TV shows, movies, video games, and books are age-appropriate.
    • Avoid scary or intense content, especially in the evening.
    • News reports about violence, war, or severe storms can be particularly upsetting.

Encourage Daytime Activity

Regular physical activity helps reduce stress and improve sleep:

  • Outdoor play in local parks (e.g., Riverside Park, Millennium Park)
  • Indoor activity options during cold Grand Rapids winters (YMCA, indoor play centers, school gyms)

Avoid making a big public fuss about your child’s fear in front of others, and never make fun of them. This can increase shame and anxiety.

There are many child-friendly books and resources about managing fears and anxiety. Local libraries in Grand Rapids and school counselors can recommend appropriate titles.

Reinforcing Positive Progress

When your child makes even small steps toward overcoming a fear, acknowledge and celebrate their effort.

Simple Reward Ideas

  • Praise specific behaviors:
    • “You stayed in bed for five minutes after I turned off the light. That was very brave.”
  • Use simple reward systems:
    • Stickers or stamps on a chart
    • Earning a small privilege after several successful nights

Toddlers and younger children respond especially well to clear, visual rewards.

When to Seek Professional Help in Grand Rapids

Sometimes a child’s fears are so intense that they interfere with daily life, school, or play. Signs your child may need professional support include:

  • Persistent, intense fears that don’t improve over time
  • Avoiding school, friends, or activities they used to enjoy
  • Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or other physical complaints with no clear medical cause
  • Trouble sleeping most nights due to anxiety
  • Panic-like symptoms (racing heart, shortness of breath, shaking)

Children can be taught effective coping skills, and parents can learn strategies to support them.

Local Resources for Childhood Anxiety and Fear

If you’re in the Grand Rapids, MI area, consider:

  • Your child’s pediatrician or family doctor

    • At Spectrum Health, Trinity Health Grand Rapids, Metro Health, or Mercy Health
    • They can screen for anxiety and refer you to child psychologists or therapists.

  • Child psychologists and therapists

    • Many local clinics offer cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based treatments for child anxiety.

  • Kent County Health Department & Grand Rapids Public Health resources

    • May provide information on local mental health services and community programs.

  • School counselors

    • Can support your child during the school day and recommend additional resources.

If you’re ever concerned about your child’s immediate safety or severe distress, contact your healthcare provider or local emergency services right away.

Key Points About Childhood Anxiety and Fear

  • Some anxiety is normal and can help protect children from real dangers.
  • A common fear for toddlers is being overwhelmed by strong emotions they don’t yet understand.
  • Forcing a child to confront their fear can make anxiety worse; gradual exposure with support is more effective.
  • Fear of the dark is common. Approach it with empathy, honest reassurance, and a calming bedtime routine.
  • If fear and anxiety significantly affect your child’s daily life, seek professional help from local Grand Rapids healthcare providers and mental health specialists.